daysofgrace13ben

I HAVE A QUESTION-BUT 1ST HEAR THE WHOLE STORY. THERE IS THIS WOMAN THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH. I FINALLY ASKED HER OUT ON A DATE AFTER WEEKS OF BEING A COWARD, AND IT IS SO FUNNY HOW SHE JUST TURNED UP BACK IN MY LIFE. ME AND AMANDA GO WAY BACK. I WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER IN HIGH SCHOOL BUT IT...
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IT DIDN'T RAIN TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME OVER A WEEK. I TOOK A RIDE BLASTING SUBLIME IN MY PIECE OF SHIT DODGE NEON, AND SMOKED A BUNCH OF CAMEL MENTHOL WIDES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I LIKE BETTER THEM OR MARLBORO MENTHOL. I GUESS IT JUST DEPENDS ON MY MOOD. NO FATHER'S DAY SHIT WENT ON. SCREW THE CHEATING BASTARD. I VISITED MY GRANDFATHER...
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today went well. slept in-it rained all day. watched some tv, played some guitar then went to my friends house for a little party. she was there the girl of my dreams. but i held back. lungs are sore, can't say what i feel. i will eventually, hell i just got done with a bad relationship so i should wait. any way i had a...
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well today i shaved the strap-look 8 years younger and can see my face is bloated from so much water i have been drinking. but i feel like a soldier again. left the band - they were not committed anyway-and acted like brats-none of them believed. no big deal-i will record on my own - i can play guitar bass and keyboard in my sleep....
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well today i lived, lived like a man and am prepared to die like a man. they say there comes a time in a mans life when he looks back and all he sees is regret. well i got another chance at life today-a last chance.were i go from here is up to me-only me. there are some things i have to change. some may...
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i've lived my whole life in the grey light-half way between life and death. tommorow 12:01am i shall truly live. i must.

well we ended up going on at 6:00 rather then 8:00 but we didn't care. there was a good crowd about 200 people in this once t-shirt making building. it has been renovated and is now used for punk/metal/emo shows. a lot of the crowd new us when we went on which was good. we played a 7 song set and i broke out the...
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well not much happened today. i went down to easton early to help my friend put up a fence. then had a quick practice with the band. tomorrow we play for the 1st time in about a month and a half in allentown. i am always a little nervous before shows but we are ready. a couple rum and cokes and i'll be fine. well...
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had a great day with lauren. very romantic went out to eat just made it a great day. now i high and drunk(she has been asleep since 10:00.) so i am gonna put up drunken poem written years ago about a very sad part of my life cos i am feeling a little depressed. don't have a fucking clue why.

autumn
with a slit wrist...
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i just got back from the show in NJ. drank a lot of beer and met a lot of new cool people. there were a ton of bands playing. i especially liked DEMONIC POSSESSION AND REAR NAKED CHOKE. they were by far the most talented and they stuck to what they were good at--hardcore punk. they were real heavy and hard. any way our band...
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