daysofgrace13ben

Well it has been about 2 weeks since I quit my job. Well today I found out I have a new one and I am fucking thrilled. I am now a janitor at a local college and I very proud. Yes I had A very good job(money wise) but it was tearing me the fuck apart mentally and physically. My life was that piece of shit casino. It was fucking killing me because I was fighting a totally un - winnable fight. It was actually all of us but mostly me with my " fuck you I won't do what you tell me " attitude. And I really don't care because I no deep down I was right. They were going to fire me but I "resigned" before they could have the "honor?" I really have no regrets-and for me that is strange.

My good friend who among the many the casino is fucking over just had her surgery for her cancer. I am so happy that it went well. Now she is going to go through at least 6 months of chemo. I feel so horrible that I really cannot do all that much to help. I so wish I could take her cancer and suffer instead of her but that's just fiction at this time. I just have to be there for her every step of the way-and I will.

Any how thing appear a little brighter-I got a second chance. A chance to step back and relax, organize, compose, reflect on my situation and it is pretty clear what needs to be done. People all think I am stupid and dumb for what I did. But a lot of others see me as brave. Well one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. All I know is this--to my critics----you know I'm not dead.

Peace!