daysofgrace13ben

well today i shaved the strap-look 8 years younger and can see my face is bloated from so much water i have been drinking. but i feel like a soldier again. left the band - they were not committed anyway-and acted like brats-none of them believed. no big deal-i will record on my own - i can play guitar bass and keyboard in my sleep. only been playing drums for 4 years but i'll practice like a madman and get the parts down. have not smoked weed, have not drank-currently cleansing my system. broke up with lauren i never said anything because i didn't want to sound like a pussy but she abused me -physically and mentally. a week ago she broke a lamp over my head why? because i didn't want to get out of bed. i told her to leave today she wouldn't so i called the cops she left. i now have so much freedom to do what i want-live my dreams and go after the girl of my dreams - since i was 15 years old. i actually fucking a little bit happy for the first time in years. i have not laughed truly-but feel in a sense reborn. i now realize that yesterday don't mean shit cos tomorrows the day you have to face. also i am set to be a leader i have to and i was put in that position. i feel so much like a soldier again. i will rise to the challenge and succeed.well i have a new outlook on life. so i will try to stay away from these serious emo drama filled blogs in the future. but that's the beauty of it because no one is listening anyway. but if someone is you WILL see a changed me- i promise as always peace.