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dave_h

Bermuda

Member Since 2003

Followers 77 Following 86

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Tuesday Nov 18, 2003

Nov 18, 2003
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I'm thinking about doing something drastic with my life.

I don't want to do it but I desperatly want to do something--anything--different from whatever it is I'm doing know. I'm tired of being a lazy indie rock kid who's main goal in life is becoming a bartender. It seems like there is no longer any positive forward momentum going on with me and this stagnation is nauseating.

I've had an awesome time on SF the last few years and for a while life just kept getting better and better, but as documented here in this journal, recently things have been getting worse.

I saw School of Rock yesterday and became terrified that I would end up being Dewey Finn. I don't want to be some dorky indie rock kid forever. I want to grow up. I want to challenge myself and do something that totally doesn't fit my personality. That's the only way we grow, right? You have to do stuff you don't want to do and challenge yourself and learn from it.

So I'm thinking of doing that awefull thing young men do when they feel like they have no future and crave some discipline and want to see the world...

I'm thinking seriously about joining the military.

puke

Like, I said, I don't exactly want to do it, but really, what else am I doing? If I don't make a drastic change I'm just gonna keep on being lazy and unfocussed and unskilled and bored and boring and that scares me far more than dedicating my life to the country for a few years.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sixsixty:
life is up and down, it is just how it is. the only way anything can be truely different is if you just mellow and even things out. if you want something to be crazy and drastic, then you need to expect the opposite in return. your rebellion to your mormon upbringings are driving you to do something different, which will in turn bring you right back where you are. to change: just keep doing what you are doing right now and let things mellow out.

[Edited on Nov 19, 2003 12:36AM]
Nov 18, 2003
ratgirl:
don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are just experiencing a hormonal imbalance or something. it will pass.

in the meantime, why don't you get a non-stressful job and go to school part time or something?

anything but the military!
Nov 19, 2003

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