dave_h

I'm thinking about doing something drastic with my life.

I don't want to do it but I desperatly want to do something--anything--different from whatever it is I'm doing know. I'm tired of being a lazy indie rock kid who's main goal in life is becoming a bartender. It seems like there is no longer any positive forward momentum going on with me and this stagnation is nauseating.

I've had an awesome time on SF the last few years and for a while life just kept getting better and better, but as documented here in this journal, recently things have been getting worse.

I saw School of Rock yesterday and became terrified that I would end up being Dewey Finn. I don't want to be some dorky indie rock kid forever. I want to grow up. I want to challenge myself and do something that totally doesn't fit my personality. That's the only way we grow, right? You have to do stuff you don't want to do and challenge yourself and learn from it.

So I'm thinking of doing that awefull thing young men do when they feel like they have no future and crave some discipline and want to see the world...

I'm thinking seriously about joining the military.



Like, I said, I don't exactly want to do it, but really, what else am I doing? If I don't make a drastic change I'm just gonna keep on being lazy and unfocussed and unskilled and bored and boring and that scares me far more than dedicating my life to the country for a few years.