datsun

the_cowboy goes home tomorrow. I only have a few more hours before I have to say goodbye. He's sleeping right now. There are so many reasons why we shouldn't be together, but I want so badly for this to work. I love him dearly. He makes me smile all the time. I have never known someone who could make me laugh this much. He moves home in June, then he's taking a semester off to transfer into a shorter academic program. I'll prolly move with him next January when he leaves again. It's scary to think that I would be willing to leave my whole life here just for him. I told him I would do it if he takes this as seriously as me. I refuse to move if he's not 100% committed to finishing school. Sometimes I wonder if he's "the one". My mom thinks it will be this sudden, emotional connection, but I think our slow-built, solid love for each other is good, too.

We didn't take any pictures this time around. Didn't think of it. Here's one from my trip out to Texas at Valentine's.





I need a new job. Desperately. If you know of anyone hiring, please let me know. I have sales experience (including running a sales office), restaurant experience (management, too), and office experience. I need a job with health benefits. It's getting seious. I am going to have to declare bankruptcy if I don't stop racking up the medical bills. They're over $100k right now. Some will be covered by UCSF because of the medical study I'm part of, and some will be negotiated down, but at this rate I'll never own a home if I keep getting sick. And I know I'll keep getting sick.

Question of the day: What do you do when you have to say goodbye to someone you love?