datsun

Nearly 2 weeks ago, I got a call from my dad. He rarely calls. We talk because I call.

Grandma was on vacation with my mom at my aunt & uncle's summer home in Canada, and she was extremely tired. So tired that she hadn't even managed a walk on the beach, and had gone back to sleep after being awake one morning for only an hour and a half, despite sleeping 12 hours the night before. They brought her to the ER, where an examination revealed a hard mass on her liver, and an ultrasound showed more spots on her liver, pancreas, and colon. It's very likely cancer, and malignant.

Mom rushes grandma home several days early from their vacation, and my aunt & cousin follow a couple days later. She spent last week undergoing a battery of tests, culminating in a liver biopsy this past Friday.

Grandma has been sleeping up to 22 hours a day. She's pretty out of it, though yesterday was a good day. She stayed up all the way until 3pm. I hung out with her & we talked about family stuff, stuff I didn't know about, people long dead who are a part of our story. It was nice for her to be that aware of what's going on around her, but it sucks that she is worried about what will happen. My mom & I can't decide whether it's better that she be scared but lucid or better that she be out of it and fairly upbeat.

My uncle and his wife haven't come to visit. They claim they're too busy, but if my aunt can drive all the way back from Canada 2 months early, I feel like they should find the time for a 2-hour drive. It's interesting because I know they'll be right at the forefront when it's time for her stuff to be divided. That's another thing that's unsettling. My grandma is talking about her stuff, and how we should divide it. Everyone is, even though they are uncomfortable with it. It's so insane. It feels vulgar, and makes us all squirm, but Grandma keeps giving us stuff when she wakes up. I don't even know if she realizes what she's doing.