This Halloween, if you feel the need to go see a scary movie...don't. This year...they all suck.
Saw III is just exactly what it sounds like: Another Saw movie. I have not seen it all, but It doesn't look to be as bad as it could have been, so if you check this one out, i'll let it slide
The Grudge 2: If you see this on Halloween, prepare to be underwhelmed. Its stupud like woah. yes, thats right, its so dumb, it made me spell stupid with an extra u instead of an I. yeah. It even has my girl-next-door crush Amber Tamblyn in it, and even that couldn't stop me from walking in to a moment of it at work and then swiftly moving out, scared that if I stayed my I.Q. would decline at an accelrated rate.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Just rent the original 1970's version, or even the version from a few years back. Trust me. the new one = the same god damned movie all over again. Thank you, Michael Bay and friends.
If you must see a movie this Halloween, here are a few suggestions.
1. Nightmare Before Christmas in Disney Digital 3D: If you like Tim Burton's magical film about the time two holidays met by mistake, then look no further. If this is playing in your area, see it. Its fantasitc. The 3D is not in anyway over the top, only adding a subtle demension to the movie that wasn't there before. The movie is still the classic that many love, filled with Danny Elfman's memorable tunes (and not replaced by the mostly subpar remakes by Panic! and Fall Out Boy, as some have feared) and the magic of claymation at a time when they made history with an age old movie making technique.
2. The Prestige: It's not scary. It has nothing to do with Halloween, but it's creepy. Its under your skin, freaked out creepy. oh, yeah, its also very good. Both actors giving lead preformances (Christian "Batman" Bale and Huge "HUGE ACTION" Jackman) are fantastic, as are all the supporting players, including always awesome old guy Michale Caine, Scarlett "I am so god damned hot, and you know it" Johansson as the lovely assistant, and of course don't forget King Kong and the Goblin King...which, in my own nerdy mind, is my way of saying Andy Serkis and David Bowie are pretty kick ass too. While the "Twist" which is what the marketing of the film is based on is pretty easy to guess, the film is still fun to watch, which maked the guessing a part of the fun.
3. The Departed: Not many words I can say here except - "Want Some Coke? Don't Move till' your Numb" and that about sums it up. Its action packed, but has one hell of a plot to follow. EVERYONE in the movie delivers a class A preformance worthy of all the aclaim it gets. It is just damned good.
So This Halloween, when the ghouls are out to play, and you get bored with your penny candy laced with poisoned razors, and you decide to hit up your local cinema, DON'T make the mistake of walking into the incredibly overrated, under-produced basic halloween fare, make the better choice, and see something that means something, or at least that won't cook your brain like Snake and Spider Stew.
in other words, Have a happy Halloween.
That is All.
Saw III is just exactly what it sounds like: Another Saw movie. I have not seen it all, but It doesn't look to be as bad as it could have been, so if you check this one out, i'll let it slide
The Grudge 2: If you see this on Halloween, prepare to be underwhelmed. Its stupud like woah. yes, thats right, its so dumb, it made me spell stupid with an extra u instead of an I. yeah. It even has my girl-next-door crush Amber Tamblyn in it, and even that couldn't stop me from walking in to a moment of it at work and then swiftly moving out, scared that if I stayed my I.Q. would decline at an accelrated rate.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Just rent the original 1970's version, or even the version from a few years back. Trust me. the new one = the same god damned movie all over again. Thank you, Michael Bay and friends.
If you must see a movie this Halloween, here are a few suggestions.
1. Nightmare Before Christmas in Disney Digital 3D: If you like Tim Burton's magical film about the time two holidays met by mistake, then look no further. If this is playing in your area, see it. Its fantasitc. The 3D is not in anyway over the top, only adding a subtle demension to the movie that wasn't there before. The movie is still the classic that many love, filled with Danny Elfman's memorable tunes (and not replaced by the mostly subpar remakes by Panic! and Fall Out Boy, as some have feared) and the magic of claymation at a time when they made history with an age old movie making technique.
2. The Prestige: It's not scary. It has nothing to do with Halloween, but it's creepy. Its under your skin, freaked out creepy. oh, yeah, its also very good. Both actors giving lead preformances (Christian "Batman" Bale and Huge "HUGE ACTION" Jackman) are fantastic, as are all the supporting players, including always awesome old guy Michale Caine, Scarlett "I am so god damned hot, and you know it" Johansson as the lovely assistant, and of course don't forget King Kong and the Goblin King...which, in my own nerdy mind, is my way of saying Andy Serkis and David Bowie are pretty kick ass too. While the "Twist" which is what the marketing of the film is based on is pretty easy to guess, the film is still fun to watch, which maked the guessing a part of the fun.
3. The Departed: Not many words I can say here except - "Want Some Coke? Don't Move till' your Numb" and that about sums it up. Its action packed, but has one hell of a plot to follow. EVERYONE in the movie delivers a class A preformance worthy of all the aclaim it gets. It is just damned good.
So This Halloween, when the ghouls are out to play, and you get bored with your penny candy laced with poisoned razors, and you decide to hit up your local cinema, DON'T make the mistake of walking into the incredibly overrated, under-produced basic halloween fare, make the better choice, and see something that means something, or at least that won't cook your brain like Snake and Spider Stew.
in other words, Have a happy Halloween.
That is All.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
you shoulda killed off a family member.