darling69

Hey, I know how you feel. My weight has fluctuated back and forth since I was 16. I've noticed that I seem to be at my thinnest when I am happy and secure in a committed relationship. I am also aware of the fact that I am uncomfortable with a lot of attention as well, and having a boyfriend seems to keep me ultimately shielded from having to decide how to deal with that attention. Since I've been single for about 3 years now, I've really had a hard time taking off the protective 20 I have accumulated, despite a lot of effort. I think it's a psychological battle that I continue to struggle with. And when I was at my ideal weight, I also felt a little uncomfortable, not only because of the added attention, but also because I was afraid I would gain it back, and that it wasn't the "real me".

So hang in there. I don't know what all that business is about, but I'm right there with ya! I guess the change has to come from within first.