darkriver

Finally... The Rich has made it back to Suicide Girls! I've seriously missed being here.

It's been a busy and eventful six months, a roller coaster ride of emotions, making new friends, having three girlfriends at the same time (wasn't my idea, it just fell into place like that), drugs, love found and lost, illness, beautiful girls, crappy vacations, getting back in touch with an ex, etc.

I met Monica thru a friend. They went to college together, so I would drop my friend off at Monica's place in the morning because I had to be to work at 7 am and she didn't need to get to class til 9. I didn't really see much of Monica at first because she'd just leave the sliding door unlocked when I'd drop Tracy off. Tracy's situation changed so she didn't need me to give her rides anymore, so I didn't see Monica for a few months, and then one day Tracy invited me over for dinner. I went, and when I got there, nobody was around. I called Tracy to see what was going on and she told me she and Erica were up in the hot tub and they'd be down in a few minutes. Well, a few minutes turned into ten, twenty, them thirty minutes. I was tired of waiting so I announced I had an errand to run, and they said they'd be down by time I got back.

I was gone for about 45 minutes, and when I walked back in, there was still nobody around, so I called out "hello?" and I heard a voice say "I'm in here!" I opened the door and there sat Monica going over a crossword puzzle. She told me Tracy had invited her over for dinner too, but they were STILL not down from the hot tub. So, Monica and I started chit chatting, and I began helping her with the crossword puzzle. Next thing I know, we're cuddled up on the couch, doing crossword puzzles and basically forgetting about Tracy and Erica. After about another hour, they finally came down. They sat with us for about 15 minutes and then disappeared again! I started getting annoyed! I called them out of their room, and was like "What the fuck?!?!" That's when the fight started. I told them it was rude to invite people over and then spend all of your time behind closed doors, leaving your guests to sit and wait for hours. Tracy came up with some excuse that she and Erica were making up after one of their all too frequent fights, and what was I all bothered about, I seemed to be getting along with Monica just fine.I told her that wasn't the point, the point was that they had guests, and if they were having problems they could have called and cancelled.

Well, turns out Monica doesn't like confrontation, so she walkout the front door. I got up to go after her but she was just standing on the porch waiting for it to end. I told her I was done arguing with them so it was okay to come back in. We spent the next few hours together getting to know each other because guess what, they disappeared AGAIN! After a while, we decided it was time to leave, and upon leaving we exchanged numbers. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. When she got home, she called me to tell me she made it okay, and I was just getting home so I let her know I was okay too. We said good night and then I took a shower and went to bed to read for a bit before I went to sleep. My phone rang about 15 minutes later and it was Monica. She asked what I was doing and when I told her reading she let me know she was a huge Edgar Allen Poe fan, and I told her I was too. We spent the next hour reading some of our favorite Poe poems to each other. We were both falling asleep after a while so we again said good night.

The next day, she texted me that she was going to visit a friend at their lake house, and she'd call me later. When she called, she sounded upset. It turns out her friend had a plan to get her there, get her drunk, and take advantage of her. She got out of the house and ran to her car and locked herself in and she was too drunk to drive so she called me. She let me know where the place was and I knew the way there, so I went and got her. before we left, I took her car and parked it in a store parking lot so the guy wouldn't mess with it and I drove her home. After a few hours, she sobered up and we were able to go back and get her car. I followed her back to her house to make sure she made it ok. When we got there, I asked what she wanted to do and she said lets just hang out for a while. We decided to go for a drive, and she asked if I'd take her to the cemetery to visit her mom. Of course I took her, because I was able to go visit my grandparents as well. When we were leaving, she asked me if I could come by the next day to take her to a Dr.s appointment and again, of course I said yes

It was beginning to look like she and I were going to be spending a lot of time together. I got to her house and she said the appointment was cancelled, but she still wanted me to hang out with her for the day. That day turned into a week. We never left each other, and the only time we left the house was to go swimming or to pick up food. We were rarely dressed, and when we were, it was the bare minimum. We made love, snuggled together, played Call of Duty, more love and snuggling, watched a little TV, and silently stared into each others eyes for hours on end. Lying there in bed and having her in my arms was the most comfortable I'd been in forever. We'd fall asleep and wake up the next morning still holding each other. I actually didn't sleep much because I was just wanting to enjoy holding her as much as I could, but in the morning I still felt refreshed.

At the end of the week, she was going with her family to visit her grandmother. When I was leaving, we kissed and told each other I love you. We texted and talked while she was on her way there, and most of the first day she was there. We said good night that night and planned on talking the next day.

I woke up the next morning feeling that euphoria you feel when you realize you're in love. I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. I guess my heart was ready. I started missing Monica, so I decided to text her and tell her so. That's when it all came crashing down. She told me she wasn't interested in a relationship with me that way, she just wanted to be friends. Then she told me she didn't want to talk anymore because I was moving too far too fast, and she'd be uncomfortable around me now knowing how I felt. That was a dagger thrust into my heart to the hilt. I was flabbergasted! What just happened? What changed in the time between her leaving and now? Just the day before we talked about how nice it would be if I moved in with her! Did I scare her away with my feelings?

The next few days, I kept to myself. I was on vacation from work so it was easy to do. A couple days later I was going out of town with some family. When we went, I did my best to mask my emotions and I did a really good job of it. The whole time, the weather was cool and dreary, so whenever I'd let a little emotion escape I'd blame it on the weather which was a good cover. I just couldn't enjoy myself or my vacation because all I could think of was her and keep wondering what went wrong. I kept thinking about how I'd never have that feeling again of holding her through the night, feeling her soft breath against me as she slept. I'd never again watch her wake, with her beautiful smile and good morning kisses. I miss it still, and have had a hard time sleeping since. It's been just over a month, and I still feel the pain in my heart for her.