Haven't written one of these in a long while.
I'm on the verge of regaining control over this crazy ride they call life.
I've finally been able to come to terms with admitting that I have indeed been the big "D" word - depressed.
I took some little internet quiz entitled: "Are you clinically depressed?" or something like that, and I scored a 9 out of 10, with 5 being the score that indicates a likelihood of clinical depression.
Don't worry too much folks, though, I sure as hell am not seriously considering offing myself or anything like that. It's not that bad, and I'm doing what I can to stop things from getting worse. (I once had a strange one day experience of deep depression and it definitely felt much worse, like I was hollow inside.)
It comes and goes and I was so hopeful that I'd escape that part of what seems to be my genetic destiny to join the ranks of my immediate and extended family in experiencing both anxiety and depression.
Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to work out this whole graduating from college thing. I was going for a combined degree in Anthropology (that's what I love, cultural anthro. to be more specific) and Management Information Services (that's the I need a good job to possibly afford grad school or at least keep myself from starving part of the degree). I'm in the second semester of my fifth, and what was supposed to be final, year, but now I'm coming to terms with the fact that lying in my bed all day, reading depressing news stories, and not attending class have forced me into the position of having to withdraw from, at least, most of my classes. (I told my Religion and Politics in the Middle East prof. that I do not, however, intend to drop his very excellent course. You can bet the discussion in that class are great considering everything going on right now. I'm actually excited about doing a paper on the Iranian Revolution.) This truly sucks, but I'm just going to have to deal with it and do the best I can to figure things out from here.
I'm on the verge of regaining control over this crazy ride they call life.
I've finally been able to come to terms with admitting that I have indeed been the big "D" word - depressed.
I took some little internet quiz entitled: "Are you clinically depressed?" or something like that, and I scored a 9 out of 10, with 5 being the score that indicates a likelihood of clinical depression.
Don't worry too much folks, though, I sure as hell am not seriously considering offing myself or anything like that. It's not that bad, and I'm doing what I can to stop things from getting worse. (I once had a strange one day experience of deep depression and it definitely felt much worse, like I was hollow inside.)
It comes and goes and I was so hopeful that I'd escape that part of what seems to be my genetic destiny to join the ranks of my immediate and extended family in experiencing both anxiety and depression.
Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to work out this whole graduating from college thing. I was going for a combined degree in Anthropology (that's what I love, cultural anthro. to be more specific) and Management Information Services (that's the I need a good job to possibly afford grad school or at least keep myself from starving part of the degree). I'm in the second semester of my fifth, and what was supposed to be final, year, but now I'm coming to terms with the fact that lying in my bed all day, reading depressing news stories, and not attending class have forced me into the position of having to withdraw from, at least, most of my classes. (I told my Religion and Politics in the Middle East prof. that I do not, however, intend to drop his very excellent course. You can bet the discussion in that class are great considering everything going on right now. I'm actually excited about doing a paper on the Iranian Revolution.) This truly sucks, but I'm just going to have to deal with it and do the best I can to figure things out from here.
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I wanted to take Middle Eastern studies next year (as a part of my politics degree). The tutor used to be a diplomat for the Shah in the 1970s, he has a brilliant mind, and knows from experience what to read into news stories. Unfortunately there isn't room on my timetable for it.