So, I really need to find a better way of occupying my time at night. I just sit around my house all night online and watching television. Now as much fun as Adult Swim is to watch, and as much as I love popping by the ol' sadly quiet uranium message board, checking my mail, and coming here....Its so damned boring. Seriously. I hate spending this much time by myself because without fail I get to thinking about things that will make me a bitter person. Things like how behind I feel compared to a lot of other people or how I'm starting to think again that love is nothing more than a shared emotional dependency between two people based on a need for comfort and is therefore just stupid. If I were out and having a good time or at least just occupied I wouldnt think about this shit as much perhaps. At least if I wasn't by myself I'd have a disagreeing voice to bounce my thoughts and opinions off of, cuz I tell ya: When nobody's there to disagree with the BS you come up with on your own you start giving it a lot more credibility and BS my friend is nothing to give any credibility to. One of these fucking days I'm going to be a hermit or something. At least then I can grow my beard out to mountain man proportions, a la the unabomber. Damn it, I just feel like I never have anything useful to do. With so much time like that my life feels very pointless. If I think about this shit too much I get worked into a depressive rut. Trying to avoid those lately. I'm a grumpy, lonely, bored, hairy motherfucker. lol, I need a car, so I can at least get the fuck out of my house at night. I don't care if the best thing I can do is go to IHOP or just drive around for an hour. Least I wouldn't be sitting around on my ass feeling quite so damned useless.
manuel:
It's from a movie called Basketcase. A lovely tale about a boy and his surgically-removed homicidal siamese twin.
