Friends, i have been on a wild ride the last three years of my life. I discovered sg right at the beginning of it and have enjoyed my various lovely friends ever since.
In 2016 among various other traumas, i got layed off from a job i had for 13 years. My first job really, after Phd and post doc training. 2016 was a great year of discovery because of it. The first thing i did after layoff was go eat lunch with my #1 competitor. A man whose career i followed since 1998. 8 mos later he offered me a job. I was very excited to take it. We created a custom position for me. Strategic marketing manager. My job i thought was to try to rescue a stale company. I had a great time in the job, small company, i did like 3 roles in there. But i threatened the president/ceo/heaad of hr and my boss the vp of marketing. So they canned me 21 months into the job in just such a way that i could not really sue them for how badly they treated me in there.
Now here is the rub. I never wanted either of their jobs. I am humble in how i operate in business. I am realistic. I have seen alot of organizational challenges over time. And i know how to fix problems. I turn problems into opportunities naturally. But 6 mos into desperately trying to get re-employed? I still have no idea where i fit. I am a bit unique in just how many roles i can feasibly do with my extensive experience. I am in the 50+ crowd now. And i am expensive because of all my expertise. These days? There is just opportunity everywhere. It is now almost easy to find jobs with the power of google alone. My humble nature? Just means i’m not really all that ambitious. I’m not a climber. I’m a doer. But i sort of conclude some things now having swung at 70 or so jobs. I get call backs sometimes even if i don’t have an inside referral. I am hard to read. I am unusual in my background. It is possible that i threaten every single hiring manager i face if they are not at the top of the org. But i don’t know what leader role i am best for. I deal almost exclusively in high level strategy now in health and science. And i cannot figure out whom if anyone needs my particular blend.
So i think i have to aim higher than i have been. And learn to shut my fucking mouth. Because the minute i offer something about my background? They peg me. I’m smart. I’m capable. And i have tried alot of things and actually failed at none of em. I cannot do everything. But i have r and d, marketing, business development, technical sales and corporate strategy experience. I have never wanted to be president. I like to build business models org structures and startup. But i never wanted to be “the” leader.
Is it just because i’m a virgo that i don’t want all the attention? Cause i am sort of desperate for fame. Mostly on the health impact side.
