i had a wonderful and somewhat confusing night last night...
first, i went to go hang out with some friends and i saw Jarhead and it was ok i guess i have to say i was expecting more from the bootcamp realism but i suppose the extra training they put in there was realism enough ya know for those who have already seen it..
second, i was bad.. i smoked a cigarette.. it wasnt my own brand and it was menthol and stale... it was pathetic i know.. but i couldent beat this craving.. so i broke my fast on cigarettes but i'm still sticking with it i just had a moment of weakness.. and i still havent eaten sweets or had caffeine or masturbated so i'm staying true to my others and not becomming a fat ass compulsive masturbator from quitting smoking... i kinda see myself drinking more than usual though so i'm gonna give that a lil rest n prolly not drink till wednesday or somethin cause i dont want to become an alchy out of all this...
third.. i met a chick of course.. as all good stories go there is an interest in a possible mate ya know thats just how things go.. but this is where it gets confusing.. she is about 19 years old <keep in mind i'm only 21 here so at least we were prolly in highschool together at some point though different schools of course> she's 5 foot 9 so yay for not having to lean down on kisses... we have been out amongst each other several times in different atmospheres you could call them group dates per say... but i took it real slow n casual with her.. we talked alot of shit about getting intimate with one another but face to face i clearly had to make the moves and this is where i'm usually very nervous, but i felt very comfortable with her....
too comfortable ya know... i barely know this chick and its amazing how well we get along and how comfortable we are around one another....
what throws me off and makes me hold back aside from the obvious rushing into crap (realist) is this guy she kinda liked before she mentioned not liking it that he became possessive.. he called her babe and baby and did the whole "i'm cold lets go babe" while she was standing around talkin to me one night and she considers that being possessive and also how he would kinda do crap for attention everytime she was talking to me <i'm competition and he saw it from the get go as i saw him in the same light> the thing is.. he was obviously the jealous type.. i'm the compeditive type.. i hate my competition, but i love competing too... depending on the scenerio too.. so with all that in mind.. how do i persue.. because we have made no exclusive comments.. but i get the feeling that my compeditive nature will kick in if i happen to run into another guy who is interested in her or is basicly eating the same cookie as me... its one thing to hear of it it's another to see it ya know
fourth, i spent the night with her last night and we sat around in her livingroom and she laid accross my lap as we watched conan on tv and we were both cracking up at the same stuff <lame i know but still it shows common sense of humor> but then we started making out and one thing lead to another and i have to say she is stunningly beautiful.. i couldent remove my eyes from her the entire time i was with her but i wasnt being one of those drooling baboon fuckheads ya know.. we sat up and talked n fooled around till 7am till we finally passed out.. i wasnt even planning on spending the night it's normally not my deal but she's a left side of the bed and i'm a right and i had a great nights sleep next to her.. again with the comfortableness...
i think i really gotta do my best to keep emotion out of the picture cause i can feel myself wanting to bring it out but my logic is telling me too soon so thats all well n good but this girl is very tempting to get involved with in a relationship which is pritty much the exact opposite of what i wanted before last night when i got to know her better <and i'm not just talking the sex of course
>
oyyyy what a mess what a mess...
first, i went to go hang out with some friends and i saw Jarhead and it was ok i guess i have to say i was expecting more from the bootcamp realism but i suppose the extra training they put in there was realism enough ya know for those who have already seen it..
second, i was bad.. i smoked a cigarette.. it wasnt my own brand and it was menthol and stale... it was pathetic i know.. but i couldent beat this craving.. so i broke my fast on cigarettes but i'm still sticking with it i just had a moment of weakness.. and i still havent eaten sweets or had caffeine or masturbated so i'm staying true to my others and not becomming a fat ass compulsive masturbator from quitting smoking... i kinda see myself drinking more than usual though so i'm gonna give that a lil rest n prolly not drink till wednesday or somethin cause i dont want to become an alchy out of all this...
third.. i met a chick of course.. as all good stories go there is an interest in a possible mate ya know thats just how things go.. but this is where it gets confusing.. she is about 19 years old <keep in mind i'm only 21 here so at least we were prolly in highschool together at some point though different schools of course> she's 5 foot 9 so yay for not having to lean down on kisses... we have been out amongst each other several times in different atmospheres you could call them group dates per say... but i took it real slow n casual with her.. we talked alot of shit about getting intimate with one another but face to face i clearly had to make the moves and this is where i'm usually very nervous, but i felt very comfortable with her....
too comfortable ya know... i barely know this chick and its amazing how well we get along and how comfortable we are around one another....
what throws me off and makes me hold back aside from the obvious rushing into crap (realist) is this guy she kinda liked before she mentioned not liking it that he became possessive.. he called her babe and baby and did the whole "i'm cold lets go babe" while she was standing around talkin to me one night and she considers that being possessive and also how he would kinda do crap for attention everytime she was talking to me <i'm competition and he saw it from the get go as i saw him in the same light> the thing is.. he was obviously the jealous type.. i'm the compeditive type.. i hate my competition, but i love competing too... depending on the scenerio too.. so with all that in mind.. how do i persue.. because we have made no exclusive comments.. but i get the feeling that my compeditive nature will kick in if i happen to run into another guy who is interested in her or is basicly eating the same cookie as me... its one thing to hear of it it's another to see it ya know
fourth, i spent the night with her last night and we sat around in her livingroom and she laid accross my lap as we watched conan on tv and we were both cracking up at the same stuff <lame i know but still it shows common sense of humor> but then we started making out and one thing lead to another and i have to say she is stunningly beautiful.. i couldent remove my eyes from her the entire time i was with her but i wasnt being one of those drooling baboon fuckheads ya know.. we sat up and talked n fooled around till 7am till we finally passed out.. i wasnt even planning on spending the night it's normally not my deal but she's a left side of the bed and i'm a right and i had a great nights sleep next to her.. again with the comfortableness...
i think i really gotta do my best to keep emotion out of the picture cause i can feel myself wanting to bring it out but my logic is telling me too soon so thats all well n good but this girl is very tempting to get involved with in a relationship which is pritty much the exact opposite of what i wanted before last night when i got to know her better <and i'm not just talking the sex of course
>
oyyyy what a mess what a mess...