I dropped by my parents house yesterday to do some laundry (i dont have my own machines, and im not gonna pay to use the machines at my apartments), and my mom seemed kinda down, and i asked her what was wrong. she told me nothing, so i went into the other room to watch some tv until my clothes were done.
i looked at the calendar on the table, and it said she had an ultrasound scheduled earlier in the day. so that made my heart skip a beat, so i went and asked her what the ultrasound was for. She is diabetic, so she goes to the doctor all the time for routine checkups, every other week or so. She said that something showed up in her bloodwork, and they wanted to get an ultrasound of her kidneys. They dont know whats wrong yet, and of course she wont get the results for a few days, but it clearly scares her, and it scares me.
I've had this feeling the past few years that at least one of my parents will die in the next few years, and now this happens. She says she doesnt feel anythings wrong, btu shes worried that her kidneys might be failing. Theres no real evidence that this would be the case, and its a worst case scenario.
But now i am scared to death. I have drifted away from my parents the last 10 years or so. I still talk to them and see them, but i dont TALK to them. We dont really feel like a close family. And i am scared that my mom will die before i can make it up to her and get to know her as a friend, as an adult should get to know their parents.
Hopefully she's ok, and theres nothing much to worry about, but i need prayers if you pray, or if you dont, then just send some good vibes this way, some positive karma, because i need it.
I dont know what i would do, or what my dad would do if she died.
i looked at the calendar on the table, and it said she had an ultrasound scheduled earlier in the day. so that made my heart skip a beat, so i went and asked her what the ultrasound was for. She is diabetic, so she goes to the doctor all the time for routine checkups, every other week or so. She said that something showed up in her bloodwork, and they wanted to get an ultrasound of her kidneys. They dont know whats wrong yet, and of course she wont get the results for a few days, but it clearly scares her, and it scares me.
I've had this feeling the past few years that at least one of my parents will die in the next few years, and now this happens. She says she doesnt feel anythings wrong, btu shes worried that her kidneys might be failing. Theres no real evidence that this would be the case, and its a worst case scenario.
But now i am scared to death. I have drifted away from my parents the last 10 years or so. I still talk to them and see them, but i dont TALK to them. We dont really feel like a close family. And i am scared that my mom will die before i can make it up to her and get to know her as a friend, as an adult should get to know their parents.
Hopefully she's ok, and theres nothing much to worry about, but i need prayers if you pray, or if you dont, then just send some good vibes this way, some positive karma, because i need it.
I dont know what i would do, or what my dad would do if she died.
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... and yes, a garbage bag full of puppies. I can't believe it myself. Last year there was a litter of puppies found in an outhouse. It's amazing how poorly some people can treat animals. I mean, I *know* puppies are a pain in the butt, especially when you've got a bunch of them - but there are rescues and even just regular people that would be willing to take them in. It's sad that animals have to suffer needlessly.
In the event that her kidneys are failing, that's my profession and I can reasure you that with dialysis she could still lead an active life. Being diabetic, she's already familiar with special diets. It would just require some modification.
But, if this is the case, she basically would likely have dialysis for a few hours three times a week, and if deemed a transplant candidate, could get on a list (or more than one - I always advise my patients to go to more than one transplant center to increase odds, as well as the fact that different centers have different criteria for judging candidacy, so being denied at one doesn't rule out a transplant).
I realize I'm jumping the gun, as she hasn't gotten results yet, but I'm just laying out the worst likely possibilities. And I've had patients who have been on dialysis for upward of 30 years, and also those well into their 90s, so ESRD (End-Stage Renal Disease, AKA 'CRF,' or Chronic Renal Failure) is not by any means a death sentence. Compliance is key.
BTW, diabetes mellitis is the #1 cause of kidney failure (high bloodpressure is the 2nd), so she'd have a lot of other patients dialyzing with her who would be able to offer support and diet suggestions.
Should you have any questions I'd be happy to try to answer or if you just need to rant, I'm here.
Also, 2 of my friends here on SG are dialysis patients and one's father is one, so in the event your mother does reqire it (and again, she may not), they'd probably be willing to offer yousome support.
And there is a great online support group for families of kidney patients.
Let me know how it goes.
Oh, and my music is hard to pigeonhole. Influences range from Lou Reed to Neil Young & Crazy Horse to Sonic Youth to Dylan to Hendrix to Hank Williams Sr, to AFI to Miles Davis to Blind Gary Davis to Patti Smith to Dead Kennedys to Foo Fighters to Billie Holliday to Grateful Dead to . . . well, you can sort of get the picture.