Last night I levelled up. I've been trying for six months to reach a certain point in my meditation: the elimination of the first five senses, leaving only mind. I reached this point last night. It took me until 5:30am, but I did it. I was up before 10, feeling more rested than I have for some time.
I also feel much better about K, and what's going on with her and this other guy. Essentially, the process goes like this: it makes her happy, and she's my good friend. Her being happy makes me happy. So why should I feel bad? All I was really upset about was fear: fear that she would stop caring about me; fear that I would never have her undivided attention again; fear that I would be alone. The sex was great, and she opened my eyes in a couple of ways in terms of the things that I want in a relationship and a girl.
Speaking of girls, that cute little thing I met Friday night, Molly... I ran into her last night. We played a couple of games of pool, and I gave her my number, complete with sign language and mouthing the words "call me." I sure hope she isn't gay... What the fuck is up with my life that I have to hope a cute girl isn't gay? Damn this homosexist femmocracy!
Kisses, suckers.
I also feel much better about K, and what's going on with her and this other guy. Essentially, the process goes like this: it makes her happy, and she's my good friend. Her being happy makes me happy. So why should I feel bad? All I was really upset about was fear: fear that she would stop caring about me; fear that I would never have her undivided attention again; fear that I would be alone. The sex was great, and she opened my eyes in a couple of ways in terms of the things that I want in a relationship and a girl.
Speaking of girls, that cute little thing I met Friday night, Molly... I ran into her last night. We played a couple of games of pool, and I gave her my number, complete with sign language and mouthing the words "call me." I sure hope she isn't gay... What the fuck is up with my life that I have to hope a cute girl isn't gay? Damn this homosexist femmocracy!
Kisses, suckers.
I'm sorry to hear about you and K. There's nothing I can say that will make the situation better, and no wisdom I can impart that will help the hurt. Except maybe: You're an awesome guy, and you will someday find the one who is the ying to your yang. I meant what I said so long ago in my journal entry to you, you know.
Uhm...this Molly...she isn't the Molly that is the sister of Viscious Koi, is she? Cuz if she is, I fear that you may soon be strangled by your own entrails. Just warning you.
Misses you!