cyaluminus

I am Depress-o-tron. I'm lonely and crap. That soft creamy core I talked about before has evaporated, but I no longer lack the coolness to be cool and tough. I'm just tough.

I beat a girl at arm wrestling in a restaurant tonight. It was crowded. A guy next to us officiated. Did I mention that I won?

Isn't that attractive? Along with my blazing intellect, astounding personality and disease-free physique?

Leave a note if you'd like to pick up an application, or contribute to the Get a Sucker a Date Foundation. We're like a violent, angry version of Make a Wish. Oh, and I get all the proceeds. And all the dates.