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cvtgrrl_shan

South Side Chicago, IL

Member Since 2015

Followers 1236 Following 156

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I'm not well today

Apr 4, 2017
9
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I had been doing so well for a few weeks. Probably my longest good streak in some time. Yesterday I was down and I attributed it to a bad night sleep. I slept fairly well last night but today woke up feeling blue. I do know part of the reason and it's mostly just my own mind overworking. I have been too exhausted from work to even play video games. I haven't gotten to enjoy my 2 days off from work, I have spent them running errands and being tired. I have been a useless member to society, to my friends, and I barely talk to my family. When I say things like that, the little comment a 'friend' once made to me pops in my head 'quit having a pity party for yourself and get over it'. Makes me wonder if other people think that when they listen to me vent. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. It seems at times that no one else cares or notices something is wrong, maybe I should just stop caring about myself too. I care too much about everything and I thought that was a good personality trait to have, sometimes I wonder if it's not. Sometimes I think the only one who enjoys all my caring and affection and returns it equally is my cat.

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
cvtgrrl_shan:
@amberetta sex is the last thing on my mind when I'm down. It would take a lot to turn my sex drive up when I'm that way. And sex is always on my mind, so it says a lot when I'm not in the mood or not thinking about it. I stay away from alcohol, alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. My mother is a functioning alcoholic. I have found in the past that it is easy for me to fall victim to the numbing effects of it and I don't want to do that. I refuse to turn into my mother. I try to occupy myself with video games or a good show but have been too busy and then tired to really do anything. My friend tried cheering me up by sending some sexy pics of herself, sadly it didn't turn me on as much as it normally would have. I highly appreciated them though!
Apr 4, 2017
amberetta:
Ah gotcha! That totally makes sense. I hope you find something that gets you to see that light at the end of the tunnel!! If you like totally ridiculous movies, look up Rubber (2010) or Black Sheep (not the Chris Farley film lol). 
Apr 4, 2017

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