cutriver

'Kay, here we go again.

So you will notice I have finally got around to choosing five favourite Suicide Girls, thanks to the appearance, today of Lilith. I love the way her eyes have been gazing up at me from the bottom of the page tonight...
Will you believe me if I tell you these ladies have been chosen as much for their profiles as for their pictures? Doubtless you will not, but it's true. Why do you think it took me so long to find five whom I really wanted gracing my page?

So what can I tell you? This speed-marking is killing me.

Plus I have just discovered I am in some financial difficulty. I applied for a loan for the first time today. For my general opinion of money, I refer you all to Lilith's journal (yes, her again): she pretty much nails it...

I also discovered, thanks to cupofkarma, that Ronald Reagan is dead. Imagine, it took me three days to find this out. And have I been adversely affected by not knowing this information at the same time as the rest of the world. I have not. You know, you too could exist in this state of benign indifference to the mass media. Just switch off, disconnect. Your rhythm, your world, doesn't have to be theirs.

So, we were so exhausted and fucked off by all the marking yesterday that HD and I went out and got drunk and he ranted at me for about three hours about how I had to make more effort to talk to women because before I know it I'll be as old and lonely as he is. He's right of course. Eventually we came out of the pub and found some of our students lounging around drinking beer, and ended up going back to their apartment for a nightcap. They plied me with something purple that may or may not have contained some of these ingredients:
pear liqueur
red wine
Vimto
It was actually pretty good!

Other than that, not a lot, been listening to more Joni Mitchell. Have some more lyrics:
'Help me
I think I'm falling
In love with you
Are you going to let me go there by myself?
That's such a lonely thing to do'

('Help me')

or how about this?
'You go down to the pick-up station
Craving warmth and beauty
You settle for less than frustration
A few drinks later you're not so choosy
When the closing lights strip off the shadows
On this strange new flesh you've found
Clutching the night to you like a fig leaf
You hurry
To the blackness
And the blankets
To lay down an impression
And your loneliness'

(- 'Down to YOu')

Jesus. I'm winded by writing of this quality. This tells me one thing and one thing only: that art is the only thing in this life worth pursuing. I once read an interview with someone (it may have been Madonna) who said she'd listened to Court and Spark every day for a year - 'it was my Bible'. I can see why...

Right, so. I'm going away again tomorrow. My parents are going on holiday and want someone to water their garden, and this week has been such a fucking drag that i'm looking forward to a few days quiet reading and sleeping. I will probably be getting on-line from there, but you never know...

It's late and I'm getting emotional. I love you all so much.