today was such a lazy day for me, spent most of it in bed. did get up for a couple of hours,then headed right back to my bed. fell asleep to the early morning rain and that was really nice and relaxing i think all of what happened last week has caught up to me and it's hit hard. kinda wore me out . so...
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cureelise:
pics of me and other stuff
i have figured out something today. i am way far from being normal. i mean what is being normal ? can someone explain how u are supposed to act . why be normal when i can be a sex addicted freak who eats paper and sucks ketchup out of the packets. not like i'm the only person who does shit like that. ok so i...
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baka_amerikanjin:
mmmmmmmmm paper... I just read back a couple of entries...I'm very sorry about your baby. 
[Edited on Mar 03, 2004 3:36PM]
[Edited on Mar 03, 2004 3:36PM]
cureelise:
ty love 
today wasn't so bad. i finally got to hear from a friend that i needed to hear from. even though he didn't call his email still meant a lot to me since he said he wished he could be here with me . so i'm a little happier then i was before.
jenya:
that is nice.....even an email can mean so much.
i am glad it brought a spot of sunshine.
HUGS
i am glad it brought a spot of sunshine.
HUGS
well it looks like this week is just all bad news for me. i have some more news that is tough , but i think getting it out in writing it going to help and knowing that i will have support from family and friends is helping out in many ways. sometime yesterday i don't know when it was. either during or after the funeral...
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jenya:
i believe that your gram is with your baby, holding her and glad that she could see her grandchild.
many HUGS......what a shitass week.....HUGS again
many HUGS......what a shitass week.....HUGS again
vespa666:
sorry about you week. i hope you and your husband are all right
john
john
so today is it. when we lay my grandmother to rest. i'm doing fine. just gotta figure out what i'm doing with my hair and then feed myself and the baby. one of us is starving.
bettiekill:
hugs...!
jenya:
more HUGS
so today was the day my grandmother took her last breath and we said goodbye. the funeral is this thursday. my mom thought it was kinda kewl that she passed away on my grandfathers birthday. i guess in some ways it is. i'm doing ok. a little numb and full of anger. seem to be getting bitched out a lot from shit that seems to...
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jenya:
you need to do, whatever you need to do to get through this.....everyone mourns in their own way.
baka_amerikanjin:
My condolences babe...Sometimes it's best to mourn alone. That's what I did with my grandpa...
she's still holding on to life , even though there isn't much left to hold on to. i seem to be dealing with things pretty well. it's for the best. they are going to move her into a hospice so we have more room for visiting and it will be moer comfortable for the family.my main focus these days is the baby and getting ready...
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jenya:
i am glad she is going to the hospice i think that seems to be much better than leaving this world by way of a hospital.
and the dichotomy of your gram leaving and your baby arriving i am sure at times difficult and at times comforting.
thinking of ya
and the dichotomy of your gram leaving and your baby arriving i am sure at times difficult and at times comforting.
thinking of ya
we think today or tomorrow is going to be the day. they put my grandmother on a morphine drip and her breathing sucks. as for me i'm doing ok. my main wish for her is that she goes with family around her and not during the night when she is alone.
my bestfriend is flying in from california to be here for me and it's...
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as for me i'm doing ok. my main wish for her is that she goes with family around her and not during the night when she is alone.
my bestfriend is flying in from california to be here for me and it's...
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cureelise:
awww ty Baka. love u.
jenya:
since she is in a condition close to death, cannot family be there in the middle of the night, so that if she goes then, she will not be alone?
thinking about you and sending hugs your way.
thinking about you and sending hugs your way.
had a very good utlrasound this morning, the heart beat is strong and was very visible for u s to see. visited my grandmother and i'm preparing for the outcome of her stroke. it was a severe one so we are waiting to see what tomorrow is going to bring. so far it looks like in teh long run we might be saying our goodbyes...
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cureelise:
so i told my grandmother that it's ok for her to go this evening before we left. i was in the room alone with her and told her that we all loved her and it looked like she wanted to cry , i just hope she heard me. i hate having to let her go but if it's for the best then we will have to pull together as a family and be strong. i need to be strong for my little rice krispy from what she says the baby looks like . LOL
jenya:
you did a very special thing El.......
they say that people who are near death often need to know it is okay to go by those they love.
i am sure on some level she heard you. and most importantly she heard how much you love her.
they say that people who are near death often need to know it is okay to go by those they love.
i am sure on some level she heard you. and most importantly she heard how much you love her.
so my grandmother is yet again back in teh hospital , this time it looks like she has suffered a stroke and is they have this thing on her that is doing the breathing for her so she can get some rest and her heart doesn't have to work as hard as it was. what i find all weird and stuff is that she was... Read More
jenya:
so sorry sweetie.....big HUGS
i love having my old best friend back in my life. it's at a good time for him too. he is just what i needed. someone who makes me laugh and can take my mind off of stress.
onecentworth:
that is good...I miss my best friend. I miss you too...when are you coming to Boston so we can get together and...well...you know
cureelise:
u r toooo cute, and need to be smoothered in beetle kisses.
btw.....3 shades of red would rock on ya!