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crusader

Vatican City

Member Since 2004

Followers 1 Following 32

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Tuesday Apr 18, 2006

Apr 18, 2006
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What does friend mean to you...?

Rhetorical, naturally - song lyrics as well. A start, I suppose, to this spontaneous free-association entry.
First because I've not updated in so damn long (and why should I? No one reads it: masturbation, as it were).
And second as reflection upon status of zero friendship (on this site - my life is not so sad), and what it means to me. Whether I care about that or not. What a desire for friendship from an individual implies. Incomplete sentences (and thank jee wiz for word processing, the savior of my spelling mistakes). Of course, that does tempt me (successfully) to go back and add/delete/rewrite, thus abjuring the whole concept of free-association writing. I would really like for that previous sentence to make sense, for my vocabulary, such as it is, to be appropriately used. [/tangent]
But isn't that the whole point (circle...)(is this unreadable without referential arrows?)?
Yet I am interested in the question. I AM lonely I suppose. Wish to be understood. Missed? Family doesn't count. I want strangers to be intrigued by me (perhaps. No, doubt should not be indicated. It is dissembling (again my lingual unconfidence - If at first one doesn't succeed - make it the fuck up)).

I was lost on that one.
I have visual memories of being in class discussing tangents and ____________, see the board, Jim standing, his frenetic hand gestures, nods. I wish I could remember the rest of the discussion. The... alternatives. They would be useful here. I dislike ambiguity (truly, it does make sense).


For this to not be a waste of time? To be shameful? No, I don't feel shame, but... It could be more worth while. Hmm, I hadn't even realized the practical repetition there. Indicative of truth?

I am stopping here. I could go on for a great length, but I've come to a desire - one I intend to spontaneously act upon.

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