corroded_heart

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! I dont fucking get it, I should have known something horrible was going to happen, I was starting to feel physically better and I was finally starting to get a strangle hold on my depression. I took my Mom to the doctor today for her follow up to some tests shed had done. She found out today her worse fear, she has been diagnosed with 2nd stage arthritic osteoporosis and is going to have to start intensive physical therapy or she is going to loose the ability to use her legs. Her pain is almost too much to bear now, physical therapy is going to destroy her. It didnt help that today is her birthday, she has spent the rest of the day in bed crying like a baby despite my best efforts. I feel like somebody punched me in the fucking soul, my mother has done nothing but bust her ass and to everything she can do for everyone she knows for longer than I can remember. I dont believe in fate or any of that bullshit but I do sometimes think that fate or god or whoever the fuck is calling the shots out there has it in for truly kind and decent people and for no damn reason. Why do the people who deserve it the least always end up the ones who suffer the most in life, can anybody explain that to me please!!!! Im ranting, I need to go do something constructive.....