These are the times we make Noises.
I'm struggling to understand and move on from this. But it's not easy. All I think I'm really doing is not thinking about it. Is that what people do? Is that what we do to avoid these feelings of loss? I don't want to...
What I want to do is call her, and say how I understand that she's afraid of relationships, how I know that we could be all right. How I miss her. How I miss her.
Everyone says the same thing though - she was a bitch to me, why should I want someone in my life who treats me like that? But they don't understand the whole picture - they don't know how good I felt, nor how my feelings are and my head works. They think she's a bitch but she's really not - she's just acting that way because she's afraid and doesn't know what else to do. That's justifiable in my mind. That's understandable.
And now, after watching a movie about how things can always work out when someone does something extraordinary - the dude tells the woman how he feels or whatever, it crosses my mind that perhaps I should call her. Perhaps she would like to hear from me and we could just hang out... perhaps I need to do something extraordinary in order to save this relationship.
And I waffle inbetween my cowardice and self respect. And I can rationalize not callling in a million different ways. And even after all that, I still miss her. I still want to talk to her. I still want to call her.
I'm struggling to understand and move on from this. But it's not easy. All I think I'm really doing is not thinking about it. Is that what people do? Is that what we do to avoid these feelings of loss? I don't want to...
What I want to do is call her, and say how I understand that she's afraid of relationships, how I know that we could be all right. How I miss her. How I miss her.
Everyone says the same thing though - she was a bitch to me, why should I want someone in my life who treats me like that? But they don't understand the whole picture - they don't know how good I felt, nor how my feelings are and my head works. They think she's a bitch but she's really not - she's just acting that way because she's afraid and doesn't know what else to do. That's justifiable in my mind. That's understandable.
And now, after watching a movie about how things can always work out when someone does something extraordinary - the dude tells the woman how he feels or whatever, it crosses my mind that perhaps I should call her. Perhaps she would like to hear from me and we could just hang out... perhaps I need to do something extraordinary in order to save this relationship.
And I waffle inbetween my cowardice and self respect. And I can rationalize not callling in a million different ways. And even after all that, I still miss her. I still want to talk to her. I still want to call her.