Where does time go? We have so many inventions and so much progress has been made to make our lives easier, yet who actually gets the reward of more free time? An easier life? More profits? Certainly not me.
I am intensely aware of the passing of time. My day is usually chopped up into little bite sized pieces of roughly 5 minute tasks. I spend more time trying to find faster way to do things (or, in most work-related cases, a way to do something half assed but make it look like I've spent loads of time on it). This is one of my problems. A habit I've picked up from all sorts of places; one that has been ingrained far too deply into my work ethic. I'm always looking for a way to do less work. I hate doing redundant work. I hate doing redundant work. I always think there has to be a better way. Unfortunately, the line of work I'm in already has had its pioneers find the best way, and I'm just either too stupid or think I'm too smart to follow in their footpaths.
I know people who have, and have done very well. They plan longer than they code, and deal with changes effortlessly because they have a good base on which to change things. I, on the other hand, dive straight into code, with nothing more than a rough sketch in my head of what needs to do what. I've gotten better at this hacked method, and very rarely do I think I've made a mistake with something.
But I always find myself critiquing my code and making notes of what to do differently next time. This is in itself a good thing, I've grown a lot from this process, but I cannot name one single project where I'm proud of my output, all things considered.
Maybe I'm just too hard on myself, which is certainly a possibility... and while I entertain that idea in my personal life, when it comes to my work life, I really just pretend I don't care.
What it really boils down to is the fact that I'm in the wrong line of work. I'm very lucky that clients seem to think I'm capable and I have a good bunch of clients who keep me busy... but that's not nearly enough for me, because I don't believe in what I'm doing. It doesn't matter. It's not going to change anyone's life. It's shortlived and easily forgotten. I want more from my investment of 40 hours a week of my life. That's a large number. That's a heavy amount of time. I wish I had 40 hours a week to invest in me, myself as a human being, but it's really difficult when you have to hold yourself back in your work because the line of work is not condusive to your personality.
People do that all too often. It's disheartening. I'm one of those people; for now at least. For now at least. For now at least. Now, for lease. Cheap. Owned.
I am intensely aware of the passing of time. My day is usually chopped up into little bite sized pieces of roughly 5 minute tasks. I spend more time trying to find faster way to do things (or, in most work-related cases, a way to do something half assed but make it look like I've spent loads of time on it). This is one of my problems. A habit I've picked up from all sorts of places; one that has been ingrained far too deply into my work ethic. I'm always looking for a way to do less work. I hate doing redundant work. I hate doing redundant work. I always think there has to be a better way. Unfortunately, the line of work I'm in already has had its pioneers find the best way, and I'm just either too stupid or think I'm too smart to follow in their footpaths.
I know people who have, and have done very well. They plan longer than they code, and deal with changes effortlessly because they have a good base on which to change things. I, on the other hand, dive straight into code, with nothing more than a rough sketch in my head of what needs to do what. I've gotten better at this hacked method, and very rarely do I think I've made a mistake with something.
But I always find myself critiquing my code and making notes of what to do differently next time. This is in itself a good thing, I've grown a lot from this process, but I cannot name one single project where I'm proud of my output, all things considered.
Maybe I'm just too hard on myself, which is certainly a possibility... and while I entertain that idea in my personal life, when it comes to my work life, I really just pretend I don't care.
What it really boils down to is the fact that I'm in the wrong line of work. I'm very lucky that clients seem to think I'm capable and I have a good bunch of clients who keep me busy... but that's not nearly enough for me, because I don't believe in what I'm doing. It doesn't matter. It's not going to change anyone's life. It's shortlived and easily forgotten. I want more from my investment of 40 hours a week of my life. That's a large number. That's a heavy amount of time. I wish I had 40 hours a week to invest in me, myself as a human being, but it's really difficult when you have to hold yourself back in your work because the line of work is not condusive to your personality.
People do that all too often. It's disheartening. I'm one of those people; for now at least. For now at least. For now at least. Now, for lease. Cheap. Owned.