cookiemonster

It's hard to bring up an accurate image you can use to help you better understand how my day has been while avoiding something tiresome and unoriginal like... a woman having sex with multiple partners at the same time. But with that said.. I think you get the general idea.

Everybody wanted something from me... and everybody wanted something from me with a deadline of yesterday. Especially one woman in particular who had an almost uncanny ability to track me down no matter where I was and get me to look for every single document pretaining to three clients... and then faxing those documents out to at least nine people each. Mind you, this woman is a goddess. A pouting smile and a toss of her long raven black hair reduces my facial expressions to an insipid grin and my vocabulary to the words, "Yes" "Sure" And "Okay". Curse you beautiful women for having the ability to turn me into an oblidging half-wit with your curves, pretty eyes, and shapely breasts! Curse you!

And on that note.. curse the franchise fuck that is better known as Noah's Bagels for ripping me off and charging me almost three dollars for a bagel with -nothing- on it and a damn canned soda. Unsurprisingly, the woman charging me the laughable fee looked a lot like Missy.. so once again I encountered a situation where all I could do is smile and politely hand over the aforementioned sum of cash.

Be it known that one of my biggest pet peeves is people who make out for long periods of time in public places. Yes.. that applies to EVERYBODY.. including lesbians.. which happened to be the case today.. and also including hot lesbians.. which didn't happen to be the case today. I had to endure the sight of them sticking their tongues down one anothers throat the whole bus ride back to my apartment and, needless to say, I got off that bus very, very horny.

Which reminds me.. it seems I've been imbued with an almost frightening sexual vigor these past few days. I'll spare you most of the details, but I have to say my libido has been seriously working overtime and it's starting to bug the crap out of me. Normally this would be a boon were it not for the fact that I have no outlet to relieve this almost animalistic need to get laid.. thus leading to a ridiculous amount of sexual frustration and a cynical hatred for anybody out there who's getting tail while my poor danger zone remains neglected.

And that, friends, is the news. Pitiful and meaningless as it may be.