"A candy colored clown they call the Sandman,
tiptoes to my room every night.
Just a sprinkle star dust and to whisper.
Go to sleep everything is alright....."
If I told you all what's been on my mind I'd sound like a broken record. Long story short..........I am being a defeatist. Ever just get so fed up with stressing that you just throw your hands in the air (and wave em like ya jus don care)???
I've always been the kind of person who tries their hardest to fend for themself. I struggle to make ends meet and somehow I always eek by by the skin of my teeth (eewww.....teeth skin, is that like pudding skin?
).
Not this month. I came up so short on my rent that I had to beg both my mother and grandparents for help. Short of Greek boy, I've never asked for monetary help from ANYONE. Can I get a chaser for my pride???? It has sufficiently been swallowed.
I've been really trying hard to keep a positive outlook. I've been trying EXTRA hard not to have a pity party for myself. I've been trying to work up the will power to accomplish SOMETHING, ANYTHING, even something as simple as calling back some of the friends I've been neglecting ( I hibernate when I'm blue). Or even get the oil changed in my car that should've been changed 500 miles ago. Nope.
Funny thing is, I know most of the issues I'm dealing with right now are completely solvable. I need to stop smoking so much pot, I need to take better care of myself and my possessions, I need to pick up more hours at work so I don't have to beg, I need to start eating better and exercising before I balloon up again, I need to read more, spend more time with my family, yadda,yadda, blah-bitty-blah. I need to develop myself as a person instead of putting so much effort into being a lazy, useless, broke, fat-ass!!!!!
But, alas, I have not the stomach for all this, right now. Something has to light a fire under my ass, soon. I'm wasting precious moments of my life away. Feel free to boo at me for being such a negative bitch.
"It's too bad that all these things,
Can only happen in my dreams.
Only in dreams, in beautiful dreams."
tiptoes to my room every night.
Just a sprinkle star dust and to whisper.
Go to sleep everything is alright....."
If I told you all what's been on my mind I'd sound like a broken record. Long story short..........I am being a defeatist. Ever just get so fed up with stressing that you just throw your hands in the air (and wave em like ya jus don care)???
I've always been the kind of person who tries their hardest to fend for themself. I struggle to make ends meet and somehow I always eek by by the skin of my teeth (eewww.....teeth skin, is that like pudding skin?
).
Not this month. I came up so short on my rent that I had to beg both my mother and grandparents for help. Short of Greek boy, I've never asked for monetary help from ANYONE. Can I get a chaser for my pride???? It has sufficiently been swallowed.
I've been really trying hard to keep a positive outlook. I've been trying EXTRA hard not to have a pity party for myself. I've been trying to work up the will power to accomplish SOMETHING, ANYTHING, even something as simple as calling back some of the friends I've been neglecting ( I hibernate when I'm blue). Or even get the oil changed in my car that should've been changed 500 miles ago. Nope.
Funny thing is, I know most of the issues I'm dealing with right now are completely solvable. I need to stop smoking so much pot, I need to take better care of myself and my possessions, I need to pick up more hours at work so I don't have to beg, I need to start eating better and exercising before I balloon up again, I need to read more, spend more time with my family, yadda,yadda, blah-bitty-blah. I need to develop myself as a person instead of putting so much effort into being a lazy, useless, broke, fat-ass!!!!!
But, alas, I have not the stomach for all this, right now. Something has to light a fire under my ass, soon. I'm wasting precious moments of my life away. Feel free to boo at me for being such a negative bitch.
"It's too bad that all these things,
Can only happen in my dreams.
Only in dreams, in beautiful dreams."
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
sarcasticmenace:
Hey, I saw you post in a thread in Girls Only and noticed your profile pic is all stretched. Here is a resized version of it. Just save it to your computer first, then go to the UPDATE page and CHANGE PIC at the top left. 
kelsi:
thanks sweetie pie! youre sweet. i know how you feel right now. im in a slump thats hard to get out of. really depressed lately. it sucks. sometimes life just sucks. but its good too. we can both get thru this. stage. good luck with everything, love!