Alright then. This originally was meant as a post in the 'introduce yourself' thread in the Genderfuck group, to which I have just been accepted. It begun running a little long even though I felt that I'd just gotten started, so I'm putting it here on my blog to avoid cluttering/spamming that thread, and because I think it won't hurt to put it out here in a more public place. Here we go!
[Before I copy the text I cut from there, a bit of context:I stated that 'Broadly speaking, the term 'heterosexual man' would be a pretty accurate description of me, as well, that's what I am. I do, however, have some problems with identifying myself as such.' What follows is intended as a clarification, and as an elaboration. I know it might be a bit long, but since it's in here I feel like I can afford to go into some semi-relevant detail.]
Yes, most of my sexual arousal comes from females (I won't say 'girls' as I can definitely get turned on by females who wouldn't identify as such), but I certainly have always been open to homoerotic/homosexual stuff, but, hey, I feel like I'd be forcing myself to do things I don't really feel for in a way akin to how some bi/gay people can force themselves into heteronormativity because it's just easier that way or whatever motivates them, in my case in the name of openness. So yeah, I'm straight and proud of it.
As for the 'man' part, I'm an XY, so there is that. Also, the clothes I feel comfortable wearing are pretty stereotypically 'guy clothes', though not something that a girl couldn't wear without being considered masculine. I guess I tend to dress pretty subdued, really, at least in terms of gender signals. I Have a few piercings, three in my left earlobe, where I usually (though not currently) wear a black stud in one hole and a little spiral thing in the two other, and one in the middle of the cartilage of my right ear where I've worn both a large ring and a black stud with big globey things at different times. My tattoos are alse gender neutral, I'd say. If you're interested in seeing what they are, I'll post some pics one of these days, but that's not for here
Now, gender neutral as that all sounds, there is also the beard... I wear a beard most of the time, though the length varies from glorified stubble to an inch or two. It's certainly something that precludes people from second-guessing my sex and/or gender. I'm bearded for two reasons: one, I like how it looks on me. (one and a half: I like how it looks on guys like Will Oldham, Sam Beam, Steve von Till etc
) and two: if I'm clean shaven, I look like a good damn teenager! I'm 32 years old, and I really don't like the idea of people believing me when I tell them that! This is especially true given my chosen profession, where a certain age and experience is seen as an invaluable asset. And hey, wouldn't you know, that profession is also pretty damn relevant to this (one-person) discussion! How convenient.
I'm currently still a student, but in a year and a bit I'll be trained to work in a lot of different institutions, among them kindergartens, nurseries, public schools, homes and activity centers for the mentally and/or physically disabled and so on and so forth. In this capacity, I'll be a role model for a lot of people, some of them very young, some of them with limited capacity for self-awareness, but all in a position where their want and need to express themselves as individuals is very much influenced by us, the people that take care of them for many hours a day, several days a week. And here is where my gender identity really comes into the picture. As this is still widely regarded as a woman's profession, I as a man tend to be welcomed with sentiments along the line of 'hey, it's so nice to finally have a guy here so the boys/men have someone to identify with!' and 'it's so nice to have someone who know how to use power tools' (I'm crap with power tools, there's only a power drill in the house because my girlfriend already had one when I moved in with her, she's much more of a handyman than I am, so to speak). This makes me sad... First of all, I don't like playing football (read:soccer) like it's expected I will, I prefer getting a guitar out and singing songs to running around playing tag, I don't want to take the poor handicapped guys who have male identities forced on them out to eat steak and look at girls (I like looking at girls, ofc, but those things often end up as, or at least are intended as orchestrated 'US GUYS RAH RAH RAH' sessions, NOT cool). What I do like is knowing that I have the opportunity to be a positive role model for people, someone who can show that gender isn't a package deal, and that you can easily exhibit signs that are traditionally regarded as male and ones that are traditionally regarded as female at once in a natural way. One example is that a lot of the kids I've worked with have commented on my piercings with 'you have earrings! that means you're a girl!' or even asked if it means I'm a girl, rather than stating it, which I find rather interesting, and much more usuful! I've usually responded something like 'well, maybe I am a girl, but what does that really mean?' or 'okay sure, but what about the beard?' ('that means you're a guy!' 'oh so then I'm a guy AND a girl, sounds fun! are you both too?')
Alright now, I could go on much longer, and there's still some stuff I feel is relevant, but let's leave it at this for now. Comments appreciated
[Before I copy the text I cut from there, a bit of context:I stated that 'Broadly speaking, the term 'heterosexual man' would be a pretty accurate description of me, as well, that's what I am. I do, however, have some problems with identifying myself as such.' What follows is intended as a clarification, and as an elaboration. I know it might be a bit long, but since it's in here I feel like I can afford to go into some semi-relevant detail.]
Yes, most of my sexual arousal comes from females (I won't say 'girls' as I can definitely get turned on by females who wouldn't identify as such), but I certainly have always been open to homoerotic/homosexual stuff, but, hey, I feel like I'd be forcing myself to do things I don't really feel for in a way akin to how some bi/gay people can force themselves into heteronormativity because it's just easier that way or whatever motivates them, in my case in the name of openness. So yeah, I'm straight and proud of it.
As for the 'man' part, I'm an XY, so there is that. Also, the clothes I feel comfortable wearing are pretty stereotypically 'guy clothes', though not something that a girl couldn't wear without being considered masculine. I guess I tend to dress pretty subdued, really, at least in terms of gender signals. I Have a few piercings, three in my left earlobe, where I usually (though not currently) wear a black stud in one hole and a little spiral thing in the two other, and one in the middle of the cartilage of my right ear where I've worn both a large ring and a black stud with big globey things at different times. My tattoos are alse gender neutral, I'd say. If you're interested in seeing what they are, I'll post some pics one of these days, but that's not for here
Now, gender neutral as that all sounds, there is also the beard... I wear a beard most of the time, though the length varies from glorified stubble to an inch or two. It's certainly something that precludes people from second-guessing my sex and/or gender. I'm bearded for two reasons: one, I like how it looks on me. (one and a half: I like how it looks on guys like Will Oldham, Sam Beam, Steve von Till etc
) and two: if I'm clean shaven, I look like a good damn teenager! I'm 32 years old, and I really don't like the idea of people believing me when I tell them that! This is especially true given my chosen profession, where a certain age and experience is seen as an invaluable asset. And hey, wouldn't you know, that profession is also pretty damn relevant to this (one-person) discussion! How convenient.
I'm currently still a student, but in a year and a bit I'll be trained to work in a lot of different institutions, among them kindergartens, nurseries, public schools, homes and activity centers for the mentally and/or physically disabled and so on and so forth. In this capacity, I'll be a role model for a lot of people, some of them very young, some of them with limited capacity for self-awareness, but all in a position where their want and need to express themselves as individuals is very much influenced by us, the people that take care of them for many hours a day, several days a week. And here is where my gender identity really comes into the picture. As this is still widely regarded as a woman's profession, I as a man tend to be welcomed with sentiments along the line of 'hey, it's so nice to finally have a guy here so the boys/men have someone to identify with!' and 'it's so nice to have someone who know how to use power tools' (I'm crap with power tools, there's only a power drill in the house because my girlfriend already had one when I moved in with her, she's much more of a handyman than I am, so to speak). This makes me sad... First of all, I don't like playing football (read:soccer) like it's expected I will, I prefer getting a guitar out and singing songs to running around playing tag, I don't want to take the poor handicapped guys who have male identities forced on them out to eat steak and look at girls (I like looking at girls, ofc, but those things often end up as, or at least are intended as orchestrated 'US GUYS RAH RAH RAH' sessions, NOT cool). What I do like is knowing that I have the opportunity to be a positive role model for people, someone who can show that gender isn't a package deal, and that you can easily exhibit signs that are traditionally regarded as male and ones that are traditionally regarded as female at once in a natural way. One example is that a lot of the kids I've worked with have commented on my piercings with 'you have earrings! that means you're a girl!' or even asked if it means I'm a girl, rather than stating it, which I find rather interesting, and much more usuful! I've usually responded something like 'well, maybe I am a girl, but what does that really mean?' or 'okay sure, but what about the beard?' ('that means you're a guy!' 'oh so then I'm a guy AND a girl, sounds fun! are you both too?')
Alright now, I could go on much longer, and there's still some stuff I feel is relevant, but let's leave it at this for now. Comments appreciated