coffeelove

She died an hour before i arrived. She was in no pain and she is now at peace. And so am i. I feel very relieved, peacefull and the pain i have felt the last months has disappeared. It didn't matter that much that i wasn't here when she died, i got to say what i wanted when i arrived. I cried, told her what...
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Please please hang on, I will be there tomorrow. I want to tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me, how much I will miss you, I want to stroke your cheek even if you won't know I'm there. Please just don't die tonight

So i'm at work, i took a sleeping pill last night and i don't think it has quite worn off yet. I can barely keep my eyes open, even my balance is off, i look like i'm drunk. Or maybe the tiredness comes from the millions of things running through my mind. My godmother, first daughter of my aunt, called me while i was still...
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So I've only been awake for less than 15 minutes and you have already made my day. How do you do that?


And then the day was ruined.. My mother called and told me to pack my bags. My aunt is barely conscious, doesn't respond to blood transfusions and.. I suppose this is it.
So I guess I'll just pack whatever I need for a...
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Head ache from hell. Can hardly write in english anymore.
Possible dehydration and lack of blood to my head.
Auch
But in a good way..

Gah. I am so bored. Missed a shift at work because I slept way into the afternoon and didn't hear my phone. I need a personal slave to wake me up in the mornings, and force me to bed earlier
It's late, all my friends are off to bed and I have nothing to do!
Halp, I need a hobby!

I had a crazy beautiful dream, there was a man, I loved him, he murmured the lyrics to The Cure - Just like heaven in my ear but the song was really Friday I'm in love, we were bathed in sunlight and he kissed the freckles on my shoulder, I tried looking at him but the sun was too bright, I kept my eyes closed...
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Sigh. I wish I had lots of cash so I could fix my dragon and get myself a back piece and a half sleeve.
I don't want to get completely rid of my dragon, it is after all my first tattoo but unfortunately it looks like shit and I'm trying to figure out a way to incorporate it into a whole back piece but I...
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Drinking red wine.
Looking at pictures of the Man.
Thinking of all the dirty things I want him to do to me.
Letting myself walk the path again just to feel that exquisite pain.