coffeelove

Having trouble sleeping again, been consumed in all sorts of depressive thoughts and lack of goal in my life. Mostly been thinking of some of the men in my life, past men that is, the ones that never made me feel anything. I feel bad for letting them fall for me, even though i knew i could never think of them as anything else but a pleasant distraction. I keep wondering if i really am emotionally numb, when so many have tried and everyone failed, or is it just that i haven't met the right one? Sometimes i really do feel incapable of falling in love, i lack interest in most of the men i meet, it never goes beyond luke warm. And i wont be satisfied with that, sorry, it just doesn't work for me. Fuck it. Sorry in advance if this ends up as a multiple post. I'm sexually frustrated, stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and no more wine. I am entitled to complain.