this is just a big venting post, so if you read it im sorry if it somehow bums you out and if you dont, i dont blame you.
I miss Felipe, and Sam, and Will-just Will, and Jeff And Beth and me-with no boyfriend. I miss all of us hanging out of Will's house doing nothing but playing board games and listening to Will and Felipe and Jeff play guitar while i sat there knowing the songs wishing that i could sing with them but never having the guts to ask. I miss pictionary and scrabble and cranium. I miss the feeling I had KNowing that while i sat there in the huge chair that that was the best time of my life and I will actually remember it for the rest of my life, and I can never have it back. I miss Greenhill Park with Jeff and Beth when we all rolled down the really really big hill like we were 6 again. I miss being single and being able to care about myself. I would kill to hear felipe play that green plastic watering can song. Or being sleeping in Will's office only to be woken up at 3 in the morning to Felipe Kessa and Sam all screaming tenacious d at the top of thier lungs. And they were all sober. I remember at the party hearing all the girls talk about how every single one of them wanted felipe and sitting their thinking it was so funny. cuz i wanted him too. I miss watching "A Sundried Cycle" and not getting it at all but absolutly loving it because my best friends cared so much and i admired them so much for working so hard. I miss walking around some state park in some town with felipe holding his hand being so head over heals. I even miss the heartbreak i felt when i found out that not only did he reject me for being hung up on his ex, he actually fell for some girl in brazil over me. i miss beth calling me onion and jeff calling me emma face. i miss the way creepy sam could sometimes be the only one that could make me feel better. i miss sketchy nights in the back of my escort wagon in the parking lot of an abondoned warehouse. i miss denny's and golden's.
I swear to God. I would give absolutly anything to be that happy again. I just want it back for one night.
For my 20th birthday, I want to be 18 again.
I miss Felipe, and Sam, and Will-just Will, and Jeff And Beth and me-with no boyfriend. I miss all of us hanging out of Will's house doing nothing but playing board games and listening to Will and Felipe and Jeff play guitar while i sat there knowing the songs wishing that i could sing with them but never having the guts to ask. I miss pictionary and scrabble and cranium. I miss the feeling I had KNowing that while i sat there in the huge chair that that was the best time of my life and I will actually remember it for the rest of my life, and I can never have it back. I miss Greenhill Park with Jeff and Beth when we all rolled down the really really big hill like we were 6 again. I miss being single and being able to care about myself. I would kill to hear felipe play that green plastic watering can song. Or being sleeping in Will's office only to be woken up at 3 in the morning to Felipe Kessa and Sam all screaming tenacious d at the top of thier lungs. And they were all sober. I remember at the party hearing all the girls talk about how every single one of them wanted felipe and sitting their thinking it was so funny. cuz i wanted him too. I miss watching "A Sundried Cycle" and not getting it at all but absolutly loving it because my best friends cared so much and i admired them so much for working so hard. I miss walking around some state park in some town with felipe holding his hand being so head over heals. I even miss the heartbreak i felt when i found out that not only did he reject me for being hung up on his ex, he actually fell for some girl in brazil over me. i miss beth calling me onion and jeff calling me emma face. i miss the way creepy sam could sometimes be the only one that could make me feel better. i miss sketchy nights in the back of my escort wagon in the parking lot of an abondoned warehouse. i miss denny's and golden's.
I swear to God. I would give absolutly anything to be that happy again. I just want it back for one night.
For my 20th birthday, I want to be 18 again.
