citrus

sooooo...
about that update .......






hi!


~

the church bells just rang from across the street.
it's very sweet to hear the song and then expect another number of seconds to pass with the gonging of the time, but it's only just one oclock.

i'm in sarah's "hateful little corner" ... a sturdy red hutched desk shoved into the corner farthest from the cozy bed - but there's a window. there's a cat. there's a rolly chair and good music attached.
a pleasant smell of cleaning products floats in through the screen from one of the establishments below her second-floor brooklyn apartment.
she's camping with friends in one of the virginias. i'm doing as i typically do and staying here for spurts of time tending to her cat and generally making myself at home.
quite honestly, i do consider this home. part of it, i suppose.

i'm comfortable today.
last night i went with mountaincloud to her boyfriend's house and we had dinner. i left a really good bottle of scotch over there, though. she said she'd bring it back to me (i really hope so - pincher me paid big bucks for it and haven't had a sip) ... so i left her there with the boy and the bottle and slept with cats, but otherwise alone, in my own bed.
i watched television this morning - that used to hardly happen, but since the girl has been staying with me i haven't kept the tube screen closed for many consecutive hours, much less hung up the collage.

so much change, so little time.

i thought about going to the beach today but changed my mind.
i'm sure i'd've enjoyed myself there, but i felt more like spending time here and preparing for the evening.
i hope my stepherson follows through with a plan she mentioned to me. i should contact her.
i had my cell phone shut off in an effort to disappear and get time with myself using that method, but it hasn't proven to be the best way to be unknown. i'm a softy, sometimes.

there's this other boy i've been crazy about.
vitamine says it's been over for months, but i hardly see where we'd ever begun in a way to take it seriously.
vimmerin says i'm just boy crazy, but i think it takes a special kind of boy.
anyway - it's just another example of "not working out", so we've been friends regardless of the conflict of interests
i'm tellin' ya - this crush (see profile) is going to be with me to my deathbed. but let's not actually make that a self-fulfilling prophecy.

one friend muses that i'm not happy,
and what's heartbreaking about that idea is that i am,
just not in regards to the man of my love-life.
and finding others that interest me enough in a similar manner is just try-try-again, i guess.
it's silly to think i compare, either. but without some certain bit of comparison, i sell myself short, wouldn't we guess.
all in a good way, maybe.
or not, i don't know.

i've gotta run to the market.
lee and i are planning some time together tomorrow and i'm in charge of food (she's got the wine).
i want to make a green salad with lime juice and feta cheese (other stuff, too - basil, onions, tomato) ... i'll blend up a carrot sauce tonight and carry it over for a vegetable couscous and hopefully i can find some kind of something to go well with the merlot.
but i've gotta go get all the stuff and i'd like to use these last hours of daylight to do it.
at seven p.m. i'm pushing it.

that british comedy with hyacinth is on the pbs. i rented two movies on my way around the neighborhood. the guy at the video store is cute. the sample lady at the wine shop came on to me. i passed by some adorable couples and spent fifty dollars on various supplies - probably enough for several days including that special meal.

i think some of the girls are going out tonight. they'd asked me to bug them about hang-time, but i'd much rather slice a peach into the bottle of white wine i bought and set stuff aside for tomorrow, make the sauce i have planned and prepare a dinner for myself from what's left hanging around.
oh, i'm excited about the vegetable terrine and the mushroom pate i bought as appetizers.
before i go over to the girl's house, i'm hoping to buy a bike in jersey.
this is beginning to sound more and more ridiculous to me because i'm intending to carry an entire evening's meals for two across the river, buy a bicycle, and then get it all on/off the train and over some number of blocks to the girl's apartment.
am i out of my mind and over-ambitious? NO! you're not allowed to tell me that. i'll just have to find myself at the bottom of stairs tomorrow and shake my head at lofty ideas and laugh and carry on and triumph with my breath when it's all said and done.

whatever.

time for me to get a move on.

sorry no funnies today. i'm just feeling like rambling, you know.
speaking of which - how about some zeppelin?

there's so much more "drama" than i'm letting loose.
but this, too, shall pass.