mom catches me with spoon in mouth... "what're you eating?"
... "pleenot buttel"
"ew" she says.
when she returns, i'm at the kitchen counter ... "now what're you eating?"
... "celery, peanut butter, raisins, peas, ... anything i can find that i'll eat..."
mmmmm. fooooood.
she says i'm utterly spoiled... that i'll be mailing her my laundry and asking her to send me beans and rice.
i tell her i love her and ask what she wants for mother's day.
it's so strange. our relationship has improved so greatly in five years. maybe it just took getting my brother out of the house and giving her space to miss me... heh.
~!
WOOHOO!!!
i made it through twelve hours so far!
damn, i'm hungry...
drink more water.
~!
i express myself and then i'm embarrassed
and i guess i do care.
things change... and when they do, it's all past again.
and sometimes things change so dramatically that nothing is ever the same.
ha!
how so very human of me
how so very un - zen
heh
try as we may
fucking retarded shit.
(ittn, ottm)
p.s.
that scar i have from the burn i made...
it flashes white then pink with the beat of my pulse.
i told you i was looking for specific placement but this is a new thing and it's pretty fucking cool.
and it's healed so fucking quickly that i can't rip the scab off anymore.
but evidence.
we heal.
o.ver.drive
guess what that means?
must be out of work in time to commune with grass and trees.
TO THE LAKE, ALICE!
cooooooool
you know how girlfriends play devil's advocate sometimes? pushing buttons just to examine some shit?
damn it makes me crazy ...
and on a day that i was all worked up anyhow.
argh!
A night full of talking that hurts,
my worst held-back secrets.
Everything has to do with loving and not loving.
This night will pass.
Then we have work to do.
[...]
Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded.
Someone sober will worry about events going badly.
Let the lover be
~Rumi
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
[...]Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
(*ahem* ... "do the work then trust it")
Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile initially scared me to death.
~Betty Bender
my characters always live happily ever after.
~love's a state of mind~
-(fleetwood mac/stevie nicks)
... "pleenot buttel"
"ew" she says.
when she returns, i'm at the kitchen counter ... "now what're you eating?"
... "celery, peanut butter, raisins, peas, ... anything i can find that i'll eat..."
mmmmm. fooooood.
she says i'm utterly spoiled... that i'll be mailing her my laundry and asking her to send me beans and rice.
i tell her i love her and ask what she wants for mother's day.
it's so strange. our relationship has improved so greatly in five years. maybe it just took getting my brother out of the house and giving her space to miss me... heh.
~!
WOOHOO!!!
i made it through twelve hours so far!
damn, i'm hungry...
drink more water.
~!
i express myself and then i'm embarrassed
and i guess i do care.
things change... and when they do, it's all past again.
and sometimes things change so dramatically that nothing is ever the same.
ha!
how so very human of me
how so very un - zen
heh
try as we may
fucking retarded shit.
(ittn, ottm)
p.s.
that scar i have from the burn i made...
it flashes white then pink with the beat of my pulse.
i told you i was looking for specific placement but this is a new thing and it's pretty fucking cool.
and it's healed so fucking quickly that i can't rip the scab off anymore.
but evidence.
we heal.
o.ver.drive
guess what that means?
must be out of work in time to commune with grass and trees.
TO THE LAKE, ALICE!
cooooooool
you know how girlfriends play devil's advocate sometimes? pushing buttons just to examine some shit?
damn it makes me crazy ...
and on a day that i was all worked up anyhow.
argh!
A night full of talking that hurts,
my worst held-back secrets.
Everything has to do with loving and not loving.
This night will pass.
Then we have work to do.
[...]
Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded.
Someone sober will worry about events going badly.
Let the lover be
~Rumi
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
[...]Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
(*ahem* ... "do the work then trust it")
Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile initially scared me to death.
~Betty Bender
my characters always live happily ever after.
~love's a state of mind~
-(fleetwood mac/stevie nicks)
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I like how you (either advertantly or inadvertantly) coupled human traits with un-zen-ness. Very true, but we all have our bouts with humanness. It sucks, but those of us who are usually on top of things get through it in time.
That scar is pretty fucking crazy sounding. I want a pulse meter!!!
I loves me some citrus.