a friend of mine wrote this the other day, and to be honest, it really made sense to me, haha, i can remember watching that damn show when i was little...damn memories...
*note: i wrote this on the 8th of october of last year. i'd forgotten all about it and it might be good for a laugh, so read on brother.
...
has it dawned on anyone else what a crock of shit 'power rangers' was? absolutely nothing on that show made sense. a mishmash of horrible acting, bad writing, campy action scenes- you gotta wonder just what the hell we were smoking back in '93. you watch it now and really are that much more stupid for having done so.
i think the fun begins with the kids themselves and how nobody was able to connect them to the mysterious superheroes. hmm, five rangers, all spiffed out in specific colors... and five kids, _also_ all spiffed out in specific colors, hanging out... together. nevermind of course that whenever the power rangers are going at it, these chaps are nowhere to be found. and remember how they used to just fly away to the command center out of nowhere? huddle up in the hall or some crap, up-up-and-away to do battle. jesuschrist.
but first: why the hell did rita always only go after angel grove?! couldn't go and take over japan, conquer europe, run amok in south america, no. angel grove. never failed.
so THEN they're at the scene of the crime (usually a park where this giant sack of honey monster or ordinary houseplant monster is running around stealing picnic baskets) and they've just got to dick around with the putties for a while. sparks fly, an emphasis on teamwork for moral value, moving right along. they finally tangle up with the flavor of the week, but gee-fiddly-dee!, it can't be defeated. the recycled footage of rita's wand sticking in the earth rolls, making her monster grow.
call the zords! in an overly! dramatic! fashion! make pointless arm movements! i wonder: what the hell did the monster do while all this was going on? you'd never seen such patient villains. its not enough they had to break out the song and dance first, but the zords took bloody ages to emerge from the earth, fly out of a volcano, awaken from the arctic, etc. the monster could have just stomped them right there! mighty morphin' flapjacks, just like that, no muss no fuss. but no. it sat down and read the newspaper while the zords took their sweet time traveling from every corner of the earth to the park.
_finally_ they arrive and what's this?! suddenly like nothing the rangers are jumping 300 ft. straight up in the air and into the zords! ohwell, surely nobody would notice. they dick around some more, i think the pterodactyl would get swatted down first, then the mastodon would squirt some water, but the t-rex could never avoid the beatdown- time for the good ol' megazord.
two years later the thing is assembled and they go at it some more. here's the best part: they're out to _save_ the town, but whenever the megazord is punched/kicked/thrown, it falls across like five buildings! then it gets up, -picks up the monster- and throws him across another five buildings... hilarious. anyway, after wasting all that time, they _still_ can't win, but what do you know, here comes that helpful sword!... from the sky... for no apparant reason. i think on occasion it even came down without being asked to.
another song and dance, then *slash*. didn't it piss you off how they made the megazord pose looking away after the fatal blow? the cocky bastards, i always wished that just ONCE the monster would live through it and sneak away, something. nope, nothing doing. in that case, why didn't they just call the sword in the first place? wasting my time, i'm a busy man! slash away and i can get my power rangers fix and move on.
*note: i wrote this on the 8th of october of last year. i'd forgotten all about it and it might be good for a laugh, so read on brother.
...
has it dawned on anyone else what a crock of shit 'power rangers' was? absolutely nothing on that show made sense. a mishmash of horrible acting, bad writing, campy action scenes- you gotta wonder just what the hell we were smoking back in '93. you watch it now and really are that much more stupid for having done so.
i think the fun begins with the kids themselves and how nobody was able to connect them to the mysterious superheroes. hmm, five rangers, all spiffed out in specific colors... and five kids, _also_ all spiffed out in specific colors, hanging out... together. nevermind of course that whenever the power rangers are going at it, these chaps are nowhere to be found. and remember how they used to just fly away to the command center out of nowhere? huddle up in the hall or some crap, up-up-and-away to do battle. jesuschrist.
but first: why the hell did rita always only go after angel grove?! couldn't go and take over japan, conquer europe, run amok in south america, no. angel grove. never failed.
so THEN they're at the scene of the crime (usually a park where this giant sack of honey monster or ordinary houseplant monster is running around stealing picnic baskets) and they've just got to dick around with the putties for a while. sparks fly, an emphasis on teamwork for moral value, moving right along. they finally tangle up with the flavor of the week, but gee-fiddly-dee!, it can't be defeated. the recycled footage of rita's wand sticking in the earth rolls, making her monster grow.
call the zords! in an overly! dramatic! fashion! make pointless arm movements! i wonder: what the hell did the monster do while all this was going on? you'd never seen such patient villains. its not enough they had to break out the song and dance first, but the zords took bloody ages to emerge from the earth, fly out of a volcano, awaken from the arctic, etc. the monster could have just stomped them right there! mighty morphin' flapjacks, just like that, no muss no fuss. but no. it sat down and read the newspaper while the zords took their sweet time traveling from every corner of the earth to the park.
_finally_ they arrive and what's this?! suddenly like nothing the rangers are jumping 300 ft. straight up in the air and into the zords! ohwell, surely nobody would notice. they dick around some more, i think the pterodactyl would get swatted down first, then the mastodon would squirt some water, but the t-rex could never avoid the beatdown- time for the good ol' megazord.
two years later the thing is assembled and they go at it some more. here's the best part: they're out to _save_ the town, but whenever the megazord is punched/kicked/thrown, it falls across like five buildings! then it gets up, -picks up the monster- and throws him across another five buildings... hilarious. anyway, after wasting all that time, they _still_ can't win, but what do you know, here comes that helpful sword!... from the sky... for no apparant reason. i think on occasion it even came down without being asked to.
another song and dance, then *slash*. didn't it piss you off how they made the megazord pose looking away after the fatal blow? the cocky bastards, i always wished that just ONCE the monster would live through it and sneak away, something. nope, nothing doing. in that case, why didn't they just call the sword in the first place? wasting my time, i'm a busy man! slash away and i can get my power rangers fix and move on.
and very thought provoking entry on the power rangers. i have never taken that much time to analyze the show. you're right
-n
and yeah, power rangers is hilarious.