chryssi

You are right, I did want that attention from my uncle. He was the only one giving me anything at the time. So sure I was going to take it good or bad. My parents, for their own reasons were never able to give me the right kind of love. If that makes sense. They loved me, just not in the way I needed. My mom too hard and judgemental, still is. My dad to passive and I always tried to protect him from my mom and her harshness. So from the begining without the sexual abuse I was screwed. Add to the fact that it happened 30 years ago you have a disaster. The secrecy and shame for my family is great. No one knows but my parents, grandparents, and my brother and sister. My brother was also abused, but he doesn't even remember it. None of my other aunts or uncles know or any cousins. This uncle is still adored by everyone. They just don't know. And it is hard for me. I never believed I was abused maliciously, so for a very long time I never even acknowledged it as that. It is still hard for me to be angry at him. I love him!!

Here comes my uncle who is only 7 years older than me and who is the coolest thing around and he wants what he wants. So he sweet talks me,( I can remember this) and threatens me and pretty much gets me to do whatever. Now I am stuck with always trying to please people. Especially if they sweet talk me. I am a sucker for that kind of thing.

You never have to worry about offending me. I am honest with everyone about being abused. I want people to know that it can happen to anyone by anyone. Even those you would never believe would do it. No matter how much they love you they could still be the one. I hate that I have 3 girls. Statistics say 1 out of 3 will be abused. That means i have to be extra careful. My girls are very protected against it. Even with family members. I trust no one 100%. I know that may sound harsh, but thiking about my situation you have to be. My 2 oldest know that I was abused. They do not know the details or who did this but they are aware of the fact. and I talk about how they can protect themselves all the time, So much it drives them crazy!



I think this rambles to much but it is hard for me to write things in order. My brain is always running and jumping. So before I have one idea completely down another one starts to come on out. I don't what ya'll to be bored with my rantings so .....

Thanks for listening!!