So the person I thought I had found wasn't. And though it was a lot of fun, it was all based on a misunderstanding built of ambiguity and wishful thinking. And things got first awkward, then weird, then bad as a result of that misunderstanding. But the silver lining is that I've learned what I want from a relationship.

Over the course of my life I have tended to attract "parents" or "children", i.e. people who want to parent their partner or who want their partner to parent them. In the case of my second ex-wife, the person started by wanting me to parent them, then grew to be a person who wanted to parent me. Unfortunately, the person in question was an abuse survivor who grew to be an abuser herself, and so our relationship was...messy and co-dependant at the best of times.

I don't need a parent. And I am a parent for real, so I don't need a partner to parent.

I want a person whose inner child plays well with mine and whose inner grown-up seeks a fellow. I want someone to unironically build blanket forts with to hide inside and read ghost stories. I want someone to play videogames with. I want someone to spend the day in bed with, cuddling and talking and reading and snacking and napping and sexing. I want someone to build dreams with, to pay bills with, to clean the house with. I want a partner, a real partner, who can be as much of a kid as I still can be and be as much of a grownup as life requires me to be. No drama, no games, no crap.

I am dating a perfectly nice woman who does grownup well, but does not do kid. And I need that, so I guess we need to have a talk.