christoscamaro

It's exciting being a pirate when you get your first peg-leg.

Just tell people a cannon shot it off. Since that's pretty badass.

Parks need to replace their water fountains with vodka fountains.

This way going to the park is way more fun.

Bet whoever discovered beer, threw up a lot of beer that next morning.

When someone asks me to help them with their computer, I put their mouse on the ground and push the buttons with my toes.

You need more internets, this will cost you thousands!

Wanna guess who doesn't often do free tech work anymore?

Lonely? Write up a short Friend Application form and hand it out to random people.

The fun part of this is writing denial letters.

It's a good thing the USA landed on the moon when they did. If we just landed there today, the first words uttered on the moon would have been, Woo hoo! We're on the moon bitch!

Then we would have tried to light off fireworks.

It's funny when people get scared of bugs. It's not Shadow of the Colossus here, people.

Mainly because the bug doesn't have a crappy horse that is impossible to control.

Growing cats is easy. Just get an empty box, and set it outside.

When you come back later, there's a cat inside!

Apparently, sitting your drink down on the recently deceased during their wake is rude.

Well, I think not having enough table space is rude!

When i was a kid, i'd turn off the lights and race the light and jump into bed.

I was convinced that i could run faster than light, because the tungsten element in the bulb still cooled down for a few seconds.

Being a kid is awesome.