christoscamaro

The next time you get into an argument with someone, tell them you're right because you're awesome and always right, because of awesomeness.

Church? naw, don't go to one. Though sometimes Pandora plays Ministry, and I think that still counts.

There is never enough time to do what you want to actually do.

Think i'll start an exorcism business. I'll do free exams, with a cheap camera with a flash.

If you're eyes are red, you're infected and need to pay me money to not use the cheap flash, i mean, get rid of the demon inside you.

I like to sneak into doctors offices, wearing a lab coat. "smith? Waiting room 2"

then i walk in, and show them an x-ray of an intestinal tract.

"I'm sorry, it looks like you have snakes."

People keep asking me what i'm going to do for Thanksgiving.

Duh! Same thing i do every year. Dress up in my turkey suit, kick down people's doors and flip over their tables.

My neighbor pointed out all of us pretty much always dress all in black.

Hellz yeah, that's because black is the best color.

Girl i know told me she was going through her period and was hurting. I told her how awesome it was to stand up and pee, and about the lack of cramps being a man.

Then I grabbed at her boobs, since I know you girls get horny as shit on your periods.

I really am an asshole sometimes, but shit, you walk into my...
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