How was I supposed to know I wasn't allowed to ride the hippos? There wasn't a sign. Just this stupid wall, and then a fence blocking my path to get into their pen.
I have a small cube of aerogel. That ultra insulated, ultra light material that was recently invented. The internet is great, it lets you spend all sorts of money you shouldn't be spending on awesome crap you have 0 reason to even own in the first place.
I'd chase them into a spiders web, then laugh my fly ass off while they get eaten.
I also wish flies would read this, so they stop annoying me on this picnic.
How do you get it to do that? I'd like to know how, so I could make my brain fart at parties to entertain people.
Then make sure each personality knows what I want for my birthday every year. But only if you're rich.
Then, 5 minutes later you find yourself in front of the fridge again, looking inside of it. This may even happen a 3rd time too.
Like food leprechauns may have showed up at some point, and put something in there you might want to eat.
Whatever, I outlived all of you, didn't I? Laugh at yourself.
You died first.
If you catch someone in the act sometime, do a citizens arrest, and call the news I'd like to see what the hell that person looks like.
I like to envision aliens had just focused their telescopes on me. Then they say, “no intelligent life on this planet” and zoom off in their spaceship.
Sorry, human race.
"Hey, that isn't a brain! It's a cupcake. How is there a lit candle in it? Is this some sort of joke?!"
Yep, but i'm still not sure how i'm going to pull it off.