christoscamaro

It's funny how people get a dog, then say he/she protects the house.

Um, i'm pretty sure if I broke in and got barked at for a while, if I stuck out my hand and then pet your dog, we'd become friends and then your traitor dog would lead me to where you keep the dog treats.

Get a wheelchair, then roll yourself around with it. The best timing for this is when a friend is moving and asks for help. Show up, then tell them they can put boxes on your crippled, useless legs and then burst into tears.

Then you can go home guilt free!

A cool superpower would be being able to re-charge people's cellphones, and electronic devices instantly.

Since the batteries on these things seem to only last for about 10 minutes of use.

Clouds like to stare down at their own shadow, in case someone might notice they are there.

A lot of people made fun of me when i bought that chocolate knife. But when gram crackers and marshmallows later attacked me, and that fire ensued, let me tell you....,

I can't go back to candy land due to the crimes i've committed there.

I need to carry around breath mints at all times, just in case aliens invade and breath mints are their weakness.

More people need to take the time to run around the house naked.

Being a billionaire would be fun. You could move to England and build a massive bouncy castle to live in next to a neighboring castle.

Then play techno music 24/7 and bounce around like a loon.

Are you a parent? Want to save some money? Next time an ice cream truck drives by, tell your kid that they only play music when they are out of ice cream.