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christmasjones

New London Connecticut USA

Member Since 2004

Followers 295 Following 329

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Thursday Oct 15, 2009

Oct 15, 2009
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Life is bullshit right now. At a time when I'm getting many positive things done with my art and music, what little family I have and friendships are crashing into oblivion. If the two were related, it would make more sense. I suppose I would be lying to myself is I said I wasn't responsible for what's happening around me. I also understand that nobody is going to be here to hold my hand and guide me through this troubling time in my life.


During times of stability I feel restlessness. Now during a time of turmoil I feel calm. I'm at peace with chaos. I'm at peace with taking life's blows. I'm an atheist and I feel at peace with hell. I'm not hopeful these days. The unknown future has more in store for me, I can feel it. The only thing to rely upon is inner strength from surviving past tidal waves.

My lack of faith in god doesn't mean I don't have faith in myself. The important thing is to have some hope to keep you moving. I believe I will survive this.

Just have to sort some things out.

In the meantime. Coby had a fun first birthday!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
nene:
Believe me, I have been there. There is some small comfort in knowing that what you have been through before will prepare you for the times to come. I hate calling myself a victim or a survivor in any instance and prefer the term of 'warrior' - it fits me better I think...
Oct 15, 2009
sciencexxx:
I'm happy you're able to find strength from within. I am in a similar situation, accept its not with friends...its with my career. My family has been long gone from me for a while, except for my mother.

At any rate, is Coby your son or just a relative? If he's your son, congrats, I have one of those as well. His photo is in my attachments folder.
Oct 16, 2009

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