I dont feel good. Im pretty sure im going to break down and have a smoke tonight. Dont think its going to be an issue though with stoping again tomorrow.
Im just very...anshish (fucking spelling) and antisipating something bad. I dont know. Like you know when youre raging and very emotional, like if someone just came up to you and said 'hi', youre gonna break down. I feel like that, but for the past week almost. Cant stop thinking, its all going a mile a minute. I try to concintrate on something and another thing gets in its way. Ive been doing it at work too. Forgeting about major things I have to do, and even small things I do everyday, like remembering the sigs and equations.
This living situation is getting to be unbarable too. I come home, and we wont speak more than 5 words the till I go to bed. Unless I find a little note on my keyboard or tacked to my bedroom door about something I forgot to put away, or that I used something of theirs....then theres just yelling.
I am seriously seriously considering just quitting my job. After that, I have no clue. I think I just need to scream really loud and kick something. (someTHING, not someONE
)
But, next tuesday I have to see the Dr. and its at the beach. So Ive decided to leave a few hours early and go hang near the water. Chill and watch the ocean and take some pictures. Time to be alone and try...TRY to think some things over.
I hate being alone though, I really do.
Im just very...anshish (fucking spelling) and antisipating something bad. I dont know. Like you know when youre raging and very emotional, like if someone just came up to you and said 'hi', youre gonna break down. I feel like that, but for the past week almost. Cant stop thinking, its all going a mile a minute. I try to concintrate on something and another thing gets in its way. Ive been doing it at work too. Forgeting about major things I have to do, and even small things I do everyday, like remembering the sigs and equations.
This living situation is getting to be unbarable too. I come home, and we wont speak more than 5 words the till I go to bed. Unless I find a little note on my keyboard or tacked to my bedroom door about something I forgot to put away, or that I used something of theirs....then theres just yelling.
I am seriously seriously considering just quitting my job. After that, I have no clue. I think I just need to scream really loud and kick something. (someTHING, not someONE
)
But, next tuesday I have to see the Dr. and its at the beach. So Ive decided to leave a few hours early and go hang near the water. Chill and watch the ocean and take some pictures. Time to be alone and try...TRY to think some things over.
I hate being alone though, I really do.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
i live with 2 couples and im single and it freakin sucks. everynight when i get home there is much coupley love and canoodling and its just a constant reminder of my lonliness. i mean i've got loads of friends i can hang with, girls and guys, but its just not the same ya know?
also, i love the fact you like Oz... it rocks my world. I just got the 3rd season on DVD.