cherry

Ok Second part of my story (please see my last journal entry for a reminder of part 1)...

Sunday morning 4am. I finally arrived home after the long journey. I made some pasta and watched the news. It was interesting to say the least.

Brimming with tiredness I lay down in my soft, warm bed and cuddled. I had to be up at 10am. How would I cope with a day of recording with only 5 hours sleep? I wasn't quite sure yet, but I was sure my aderenaline and excitement coupled with the intense calm I felt would help.

When I awoke I actually didn't feel too bad. You know what my first thought was? JESUS SAVES.

I blocked it out. Again.

On with a day of recording and another 5 or 6 hours of playing bass. How were my fingers going to cope?! We were recording in a live set up in a warehouse. We wanted to capture the live quality that seems to get lost with studio produced material. That and we're broke

We did almost every song in one take; save for the vocals. We got nine songs recorded. Mistakes and all. We figured it would add character. We want people to hear what they would were they to see us live. I rocked out again. I rocked out in a closed room to just my bandmates. It felt wierd, but it also felt right. How else would passion come across on the recording?

That night I went to bed thoroughly exhausted. As I drifted off to sleep all I could see was the shipwreck sign. JESUS SAVES.

I slept until midday on Monday. This didn't give me much time to finish my preparations for the evening's gig. I had a dress to alter and a shower to have.

Regardless, I took my time waking and adjusting to monday's aches and pains. It was 1.30pm by the time I was making my way into town to buy some zips. I wanted to alter a very plain black dress I own. It's nice as far as black dresses go, but a bit plain. So I added some zips and holes and things. It was fun and I was most pleased with the result.

I had a lot of trepedation for the night's gig as I hate playing to the hometown crowd. There's too much expectation coupled with snide from other bands and their friends. Something I personally hate with all passion. The town I live in is sick. It's sick from a disease of over competitiveness and self righteousness. So I don't like playing here. It breaks my heart.

note: please see here for a sickening example of how it gets. Please note the post made by 'chef' (obviously a close friend of our exdrummer's). To clarify, 'The Caves' are the new band of our ex-drummer. They play indie-pop and well, we just play alt-rock/punk. Of course I am CherryRed.

However, I thought of Saturday night and how much I enjoyed that. I took a few moments to contemplate why I might have enjoyed it so much. Then it came to me. I realised I didn't care about who I was or how I appeared to people. For once in my life I actually didn't care about what other people thought of me. And because I wasn't trying so hard and because I was myself and let go I made several friends that Saturday night.

So this was it. For the first time in front of a home crowd they got to see who I really am: A shy girl who all she wants to do is rock. So I rocked. Again.

It was the best gig of my life. And I've played a fair few

I was finally able to be myself and not worry about who I was or wasn't impressing. It was a revelation. It was a change for me. But it was a good change. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. But who would have thought it? JESUS SAVES.

After the gig we painted the town. We painted in white paint. JESUS SAVES

Here is a picture of me playing that night: click

I don't know why I looked quite so moody. I think he must have caught me at a bad moment.

So I photoshopped it a touch: click

Please also note my dress

I'm the same girl you've always known. Just now people in real life will have to get to know me...