Oohhooooh. I was just at my local pizza-by-the-slice place... ayyy, there is the most dreamy boy there. Yeah, boy; yeah, I said it!! I think he's Italian, although everyone... well, most everyone there seems Latino/Latina. I can't think of a celeb to compare him to. While I think many actor dudes who everyone says is cute are sexy in the abstract, this guy is really, really hot. But he's probably straight. I wonder who I'd have less chance with, him or Bailey Maxwell, even if he wasn't straight (cuz he'd probably just kiss on other cute guys). Hard to say.
Oh yeah, I am am drunk on bourbon! God, how do you people guess these things?? Early Times. I got a baby bottle of it for $1.30- cheap! Almost as cheap as Jim Beam, I think... yeah, ET is better... I also took up crazybob's suggestion and bought a fifth of Dickel No. 12. I found No. 8 tempting, since not many bourbons are only 80 proof, but hey, bob said 12 and I went with Da Dozen. I also got a fifth of Old Whiskey River, since it's $5 off this month... I was really intending to buy Gentleman Jack, but two things caught me on the Old WR-- 1) the sale, and 2) I saw an object hanging off the side... a guitar pick!... a Willie F-ing Nelson autographed guitar pick!! How cool is that?? If there's one thing I have in common with these Bush-voting Americans, I do love the clever packaging and marketing gimmick!
So getting back to gay sex, because I know that's what you all wanna hear about- do you think the hot Italian boy would go out with me? Cuz I'd seriously like to have gay sex during the Bush administration... preferably before Ashcroft retires. And I'm not really attracted to many guys.... certainly nobody in the Bush administration!!
Uh, what else... oh, people I'd like to buy albums by that I haven't already... joe Strummer Mescaleros! Yeah, I have a cassette in the car, a mix tape of songs from promo CDs my rock-writer friend Don gave me. It's actually one of the catchier mix tapes I ever got! The Joe Strummer song, "Mega Bottle Ride," sounds like Joe is just coming up with words off the top of his head; it makes no fuckin' sense at all. Fun song, but a bit bittersweet in tone, even.
The tape also has "Take the Fifth" by Spoon. If I was a stripper, this would be THE SONG I'd strip to. I love the beat, and sassy lyrics, and sorta Elvis-C-style cajoling singing style.
Also-- The Sensational Alex Harvey Band's "Next." If I was to make a list of the Weirdest Song Subjects in Songs Evarer, this song would be in the top 3. The weirdest songs I've everarerr heard, in terms of lyrical subject, are:
1. "Put the Potion in the Basket," [artist unknown]- infornography gave me this one. I hesitate to even say what it's about since... well, I've only heard it once (BUT I LOVE INFO'S CD, PEOPLE, HONEST!! It's just that my computer won't play it, and my car CD player just broke down, or else I'd play it a lot!!), and it's really uh bizarre, but.... well, it seems to be about a child-molester-killer instructing his latest victim on where to put his lotion and how to treat his dog. But I could be wrong.... but like Sir Charles Barkley, I don't think I am.
2. "Hard Stool," Crust- This is a song so weird, I've not put it on mix tapes for people for fear that they'll think I'm sick. It was on the Love and Napalm 7-inch EP, along with Lithium Christmas's excellent cover of "Jump into the Fire" ( the Nilsson song, not the Metallica)(which inspired me to later buy LC's cover of "Strange Movies" by the Troggs, which sucked.... buy the Troggs version, if you can find it, though, it seriously kicks ass). "Hard Stool" is about the uhh bowel movements of people in an old-folks home... which wouldn't be so weird, except the first two verses are playing it for laughs, and then the last verse turns it all serious, and really makes you think how awful it would be to be in an old-folks home. I can recite the beginning of the verse from memory, it stuck in my head so badly:
What would you do if you were just an old man
and they came for YOU with something in their hand?
They held you down in the middle of the night?
They held you down cuz they thought that you would fight?"
Egad, this is why I drink.... to die young.
As many times as I've listened to the song, though, there are lots of lyrics I can't understand. The song starts with a noise loop that plays through almost the entire song, then they go into this off-kilter noise-jam (it sounds a lot like The Contortions on No New York, only louder/ punker [at least WhiskeyFightPit and maybe Clovesbud know what I mean!!... maybe Sadistic_Miike, too??]), then there's trumpet parts out of tune, and the singer is singing like a 100-year-old man... add the lyrics, and it's out.... really out.
3. "Next" The Sensational Alex Harvey Band- I've heard two songs by this band. One was "Gang Bang," which I heard on the radio in Richmond years ago. I only remember the melody vaguely, and the fact that the woman protagonist of the song had sex with "over 27 guys" (again- some details, you don't forget). The other is this song. It sounds like (no exaggeration) a song by Lily Von Schtupp... Lily Von Schtupp!!....
god, you people are young- Madeleine Kahn's character in Blazing Saddles! I'm not exagerrating. He sings in this weird accent, there's violin, it's a vaudevillesque song with a tango beat, everything... the song is about how the male protagonist was in the British army, and he was sent along with his regiment to "a mobile army heeurrhouse" for mandatory R&R, and now he can't relax sexually around women, because whenever they whisper in his ear, it sounds like , "Next!" the sorta standard order from the whores (or heeures) for their next soldier to service.
Uh, what else is on the tape? Oh, Billy Bragg's excellent acoustic cover of "She Smiles Sweetly." When I first heard it, I thought it was an original by him. OOPS! What can I say, folks- I never really gave many listens to Between the Buttons... of course, I eventually watched The Royal Tenenbaums and got set straight. It is arguable that Billy's version is better/ more soulful... but hey.
Also- "Squares" by the Beta Band. I'd love to know more about this band. It sounds like a more sincere/serious Beck... while still maintaining a playful vibe... if that makes sense.
And it has "Toxic Girl" by The Kings of Convenience; great band name, and great album title- Quiet Is the New Loud. I'd say it's the best Belle & Sebastian song I've ever heard, except it's them. And "Underdog" by Turin Brakes. I heard this song in a restaurant a lil while back. The singer sound very androgynous, almost like Nick Gilder (but not quite so womanly).
So yeah, I'd like to hear albums by The Beta Band, JS Mescaleros, T S Alex Harvey Band, Billy Bragg, The Kings o' C, and Turin Brakes.
My QUESTIONS OF THE DAY TO YOU!!!
1) What are the Weirdest Lyrical Subject Songs Eveararrr that you've heard?
2) What artists, that you do not own any albums by, would you like to get a few albums by, cuz you think you're really behind on digging on them?
Oh yeah, I am am drunk on bourbon! God, how do you people guess these things?? Early Times. I got a baby bottle of it for $1.30- cheap! Almost as cheap as Jim Beam, I think... yeah, ET is better... I also took up crazybob's suggestion and bought a fifth of Dickel No. 12. I found No. 8 tempting, since not many bourbons are only 80 proof, but hey, bob said 12 and I went with Da Dozen. I also got a fifth of Old Whiskey River, since it's $5 off this month... I was really intending to buy Gentleman Jack, but two things caught me on the Old WR-- 1) the sale, and 2) I saw an object hanging off the side... a guitar pick!... a Willie F-ing Nelson autographed guitar pick!! How cool is that?? If there's one thing I have in common with these Bush-voting Americans, I do love the clever packaging and marketing gimmick!
So getting back to gay sex, because I know that's what you all wanna hear about- do you think the hot Italian boy would go out with me? Cuz I'd seriously like to have gay sex during the Bush administration... preferably before Ashcroft retires. And I'm not really attracted to many guys.... certainly nobody in the Bush administration!!
Uh, what else... oh, people I'd like to buy albums by that I haven't already... joe Strummer Mescaleros! Yeah, I have a cassette in the car, a mix tape of songs from promo CDs my rock-writer friend Don gave me. It's actually one of the catchier mix tapes I ever got! The Joe Strummer song, "Mega Bottle Ride," sounds like Joe is just coming up with words off the top of his head; it makes no fuckin' sense at all. Fun song, but a bit bittersweet in tone, even.
The tape also has "Take the Fifth" by Spoon. If I was a stripper, this would be THE SONG I'd strip to. I love the beat, and sassy lyrics, and sorta Elvis-C-style cajoling singing style.
Also-- The Sensational Alex Harvey Band's "Next." If I was to make a list of the Weirdest Song Subjects in Songs Evarer, this song would be in the top 3. The weirdest songs I've everarerr heard, in terms of lyrical subject, are:
1. "Put the Potion in the Basket," [artist unknown]- infornography gave me this one. I hesitate to even say what it's about since... well, I've only heard it once (BUT I LOVE INFO'S CD, PEOPLE, HONEST!! It's just that my computer won't play it, and my car CD player just broke down, or else I'd play it a lot!!), and it's really uh bizarre, but.... well, it seems to be about a child-molester-killer instructing his latest victim on where to put his lotion and how to treat his dog. But I could be wrong.... but like Sir Charles Barkley, I don't think I am.
2. "Hard Stool," Crust- This is a song so weird, I've not put it on mix tapes for people for fear that they'll think I'm sick. It was on the Love and Napalm 7-inch EP, along with Lithium Christmas's excellent cover of "Jump into the Fire" ( the Nilsson song, not the Metallica)(which inspired me to later buy LC's cover of "Strange Movies" by the Troggs, which sucked.... buy the Troggs version, if you can find it, though, it seriously kicks ass). "Hard Stool" is about the uhh bowel movements of people in an old-folks home... which wouldn't be so weird, except the first two verses are playing it for laughs, and then the last verse turns it all serious, and really makes you think how awful it would be to be in an old-folks home. I can recite the beginning of the verse from memory, it stuck in my head so badly:
What would you do if you were just an old man
and they came for YOU with something in their hand?
They held you down in the middle of the night?
They held you down cuz they thought that you would fight?"
Egad, this is why I drink.... to die young.
As many times as I've listened to the song, though, there are lots of lyrics I can't understand. The song starts with a noise loop that plays through almost the entire song, then they go into this off-kilter noise-jam (it sounds a lot like The Contortions on No New York, only louder/ punker [at least WhiskeyFightPit and maybe Clovesbud know what I mean!!... maybe Sadistic_Miike, too??]), then there's trumpet parts out of tune, and the singer is singing like a 100-year-old man... add the lyrics, and it's out.... really out.
3. "Next" The Sensational Alex Harvey Band- I've heard two songs by this band. One was "Gang Bang," which I heard on the radio in Richmond years ago. I only remember the melody vaguely, and the fact that the woman protagonist of the song had sex with "over 27 guys" (again- some details, you don't forget). The other is this song. It sounds like (no exaggeration) a song by Lily Von Schtupp... Lily Von Schtupp!!....
god, you people are young- Madeleine Kahn's character in Blazing Saddles! I'm not exagerrating. He sings in this weird accent, there's violin, it's a vaudevillesque song with a tango beat, everything... the song is about how the male protagonist was in the British army, and he was sent along with his regiment to "a mobile army heeurrhouse" for mandatory R&R, and now he can't relax sexually around women, because whenever they whisper in his ear, it sounds like , "Next!" the sorta standard order from the whores (or heeures) for their next soldier to service.
Uh, what else is on the tape? Oh, Billy Bragg's excellent acoustic cover of "She Smiles Sweetly." When I first heard it, I thought it was an original by him. OOPS! What can I say, folks- I never really gave many listens to Between the Buttons... of course, I eventually watched The Royal Tenenbaums and got set straight. It is arguable that Billy's version is better/ more soulful... but hey.
Also- "Squares" by the Beta Band. I'd love to know more about this band. It sounds like a more sincere/serious Beck... while still maintaining a playful vibe... if that makes sense.
And it has "Toxic Girl" by The Kings of Convenience; great band name, and great album title- Quiet Is the New Loud. I'd say it's the best Belle & Sebastian song I've ever heard, except it's them. And "Underdog" by Turin Brakes. I heard this song in a restaurant a lil while back. The singer sound very androgynous, almost like Nick Gilder (but not quite so womanly).
So yeah, I'd like to hear albums by The Beta Band, JS Mescaleros, T S Alex Harvey Band, Billy Bragg, The Kings o' C, and Turin Brakes.
My QUESTIONS OF THE DAY TO YOU!!!
1) What are the Weirdest Lyrical Subject Songs Eveararrr that you've heard?
2) What artists, that you do not own any albums by, would you like to get a few albums by, cuz you think you're really behind on digging on them?
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
Oh yes, the boy sex could be really great with mr. latin hot pants... I love your brain AND your hot pants.