charlize

Now I am no longer broken up with my boyfriend. When he told me he wanted his freedom and space I told him okay and acted all cool about it. About fifteen minutes later I started flipping out and I was crying all day. I started calling him nonstop, but he wasn't answering, so I started writing him a bunch of really long emails. One right after another. I was so upset. Now he doesn't want to break up because he didn't realize that I cared so much. He said that he has been paranoid since I moved that I have found someone better or something, but apparently when I freaked out when he tried to end it he REALIZED that I actually care about him. He has been exceptional sweet since he changed his mind. I have kind of skeptical because I am afraid he will do it again in a couple weeks. I hope not. I actually really want to stay with. I fell in love and shit. It sucks...

I made some friends at work. It is so awesome! I went to a party the other night. We watched some lesbian porn. One of the scenes was a lesbian orgy. It was so hot!!! One of the chicks I work with is a lesbian and she completely came on to me. I wanted to act on it, but she has a girlfriend and I am not going to be involved in cheating, dammit! Then last night I went out with some of my coworkers to a little bar. It reminded me of Portland. I miss Portland so much! Anyway, it was a lot of fun! Both nights I got home at three. Just like a good college student would! Yippy!

I was actually looking at some lesbian porn today and my prissy roommate walked in. I had the sound pretty loud. I tried to turn it off as soon as I could. I wish I knew her better. But, she was talking about how she got an email about the Rabbit (the dildo) and I said I have one and she freaked out. I am thinking she isn't into porn of any kind... much less lesbian porn. Ha ha!

I miss Portland! It sucks not being able to go see Storm and the Balls on a whim. Now I have to fly all the way across the country! I want to go home so badly. I miss my boyfriend. It sucks. Although, I am really starting to like it here. I wish I could just go back and forth all the time. I miss sex already. Good thing I have the rabbit...