I hate secrets, I hate lies. I am guilty of both. I will no longer be. You can never turn back the clock and some people can never forgive.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you come here and tear open my heart with that hopeful grin and those pale blue eyes. Why can't you let me change? Let me renew myself....
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Why do you do this to me? Why do you come here and tear open my heart with that hopeful grin and those pale blue eyes. Why can't you let me change? Let me renew myself....
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I feel the need to update my journal with something a little more substantial but I cannot think of anything.
Life is funny sometimes. I have this pencil in my things. I have had it for quite a few years. I have never lost it and really wouldn't care too much if I did. But it is still there. Found when I need it, even...
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Life is funny sometimes. I have this pencil in my things. I have had it for quite a few years. I have never lost it and really wouldn't care too much if I did. But it is still there. Found when I need it, even...
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benni:
still planning on tuesday? missing early morning stairwell conversations...
emoticons are getting me through...
now if i could only sleep.
emoticons are getting me through...
now if i could only sleep.
anishka:
Yea she has been quite mean lately...the other day she was coming up to give me a kiss and then she bit me really hard...I was not to happy about that! So who are you talking about in your journal? 
Well I am back. Itis so great to finally have the internet returned to me. I have missed coming here and getting my socialization fix.
My move went well. Even getting the Piano out of the basement was not as bad as expected. My wife moved back to the Iron Range to live with her folks until she gets on her feet, or until I...
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My move went well. Even getting the Piano out of the basement was not as bad as expected. My wife moved back to the Iron Range to live with her folks until she gets on her feet, or until I...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
neodrunk:
back is alright, it's mending slowly.
makes a big difference once the beard actually gets grown in.
makes a big difference once the beard actually gets grown in.
benni:
you know, i think i saw your place once... when i was LOOTING IT! yeah, thats right. i used your paper towels. and your dishsoap. and your laundry soap. and your tv. and your internet. and i peed in your toilet. sue me. prove ANY OF IT. BET... YOU... CANT.
i despise you with my love.
i despise you with my love.
Well, it has begun. The awful, awful process of moving. I must still find a truck and storage for my things. Can't let them go. What is life without these "things"?
She came home last night and we did not speak nearly at all. She said she is sick and went to sleep in her rrom. I am so sick and tired of her right...
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She came home last night and we did not speak nearly at all. She said she is sick and went to sleep in her rrom. I am so sick and tired of her right...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
neodrunk:
what's shakin' "mr. quiet" all of a sudden?
hitting the 90's monday night?
good times!!!! who knew a bunch of gay topless men in a room could provide such fun enjoyment for a bunch of straight folk???
hitting the 90's monday night?
good times!!!! who knew a bunch of gay topless men in a room could provide such fun enjoyment for a bunch of straight folk???
benni:
i wrote you a letter on the plane... that i fell asleep in the middle of writing and never finished, so ill give it to you when i get home. 
Thanks to all who hung out with me on my birthday. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I can get strange when I drink sometimes.
I lost my bid on another house. T minus 8 days until I am officailly homeless. I don't much care, though. I am not worried about it. It is just frustrating.
I am tired of getting the short end of...
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I lost my bid on another house. T minus 8 days until I am officailly homeless. I don't much care, though. I am not worried about it. It is just frustrating.
I am tired of getting the short end of...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
benni:
i wish i could speak in emoticons... or just cary flashcards with me with different emoticons so i wouldnt actually ever have to SAY anything, just find the right card.
odette:
you have said too much!!!!
thats a shame your friends dont wanna try that stuff. i have a friend that swears she hates indian food but shes only had it once. meh
thats a shame your friends dont wanna try that stuff. i have a friend that swears she hates indian food but shes only had it once. meh
I spent the last four days at my hometown up north and found it relaxing and stressful at the same time. I like visiting everyone and I tied up some long overdue loose ends with some old friends, and that was good. I just feel like their isn't enough time to satisfy everyone. I always feel like I left someone out and it worries me...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
neodrunk:
happy birfhday, big boy!
now bend over... it's spanking time.
now bend over... it's spanking time.
odette:
dude, it IS an alien face.....
shit that has to be kept secret so dont tell. keep it hush hush....
shit that has to be kept secret so dont tell. keep it hush hush....
Well it is pretty late now but I feel I have been lacking in my journal updates so here I am. I got home from work today at about 6:30 and found to my great surprise that I have no money in either my checking or savings accounts thanks to Mr. Unknown. Thanks to him for overdrawing my checking and getting that automatic transfer from...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
thejuanupsman:
Damn that sucks I hope they catch the bastard. I want to see I Heart Huckabees. I haven't been going to the movies as much lately. Damn, your situation sucks I wish I had some advice. But my own life is pretty fucked. I am the last person to give advice on relationships or dating.
1. How long have you been friends with your longest standing friendship? Hmmm I have lost touch with most of my childhood or even high school friends. I guess it would be my friend Jen. We had a period where we weren't speaking but we are again now. She was my best friend for about 7 years. Then she moved away to get away from me. She is coming to visit tomorrow. We have not seen each other in a year and a half. I am a tense and anxious wreck. Hoping it will go well. Terrified it will not
2. If you had the choice of a lifelong companion or all the money you could ever want, which would you choose? the companion as long as it is the right one.
3. Because I am a HUGE movie fan: What is your favorite movie of all time? that is tough. my answer would probably change depending on my mood. But I guess right now I would say The Salton Sea.
4. Is there anyone out there for me? I think there was. But now it may be too late. This weekend may be my last chance to make it work. Wish me luck.
Hope you have a great weekend.
[Edited on Nov 04, 2004 6:36AM]
1. How long have you been friends with your longest standing friendship? Hmmm I have lost touch with most of my childhood or even high school friends. I guess it would be my friend Jen. We had a period where we weren't speaking but we are again now. She was my best friend for about 7 years. Then she moved away to get away from me. She is coming to visit tomorrow. We have not seen each other in a year and a half. I am a tense and anxious wreck. Hoping it will go well. Terrified it will not
2. If you had the choice of a lifelong companion or all the money you could ever want, which would you choose? the companion as long as it is the right one.
3. Because I am a HUGE movie fan: What is your favorite movie of all time? that is tough. my answer would probably change depending on my mood. But I guess right now I would say The Salton Sea.
4. Is there anyone out there for me? I think there was. But now it may be too late. This weekend may be my last chance to make it work. Wish me luck.
Hope you have a great weekend.
[Edited on Nov 04, 2004 6:36AM]
neodrunk:
Please feel free to keep self-destructing at gambling as long as I'm involved.
Well hello everyone! I have been in a much better mood lately. I went out and got lit up on Sunday night and ran into Benni on my path to self-destruction. She cheered me up alot. Everyone should give her a heartfelt hello because she seems to need one. She is one kick ass person and my new heroine. I had my Visa swiped while...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
cipher:
Thank you for the sound advice; I don't doubt you're right, and I love the shift of perspective that comes with age. Wisdom, for all its value, is easily the hardest thing to come by in life.
And worry not, I've done the withdrawal thing before. I know how badly that goes. But I have a lot I need to do, and I suspect I put too much time into this place for right now. Thus a possible leave of absence (not complete, mind you, and not from events).
Rock on.
And worry not, I've done the withdrawal thing before. I know how badly that goes. But I have a lot I need to do, and I suspect I put too much time into this place for right now. Thus a possible leave of absence (not complete, mind you, and not from events).
Rock on.
thejuanupsman:
Hey it was nice meeting you on Sunday. Hope to see you around again soon.
Yeah benni is good for the cheering up. most of the time
I cant do the question thing today. I am kind of grumpy.
Yeah benni is good for the cheering up. most of the time
I cant do the question thing today. I am kind of grumpy.
I feel like I am wasting space.
I give up.
I give up.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
benni:
im sorry i didnt get a chance to talk to you at the other place. it was an infuriating shift, and then you were on your phone and gone and then back but on your phone again and then gone... and i dont know if you were still there when i left because im an ass and forgot to check..
but i hope youre well... well talk soon.
but i hope youre well... well talk soon.
blasfemme:
hey, i'll be at the interpol show this eve. if you see me say "hey"
Well it is now Monday morning and I don't know what to say.
I had this really weird dream last night that was detailed for me.
I was out with some friends having a couple of drinks when suddenly I am in this dive looking nudie bar where there are no dancers. Then I look up and this girl I had a huge crush on...
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I had this really weird dream last night that was detailed for me.
I was out with some friends having a couple of drinks when suddenly I am in this dive looking nudie bar where there are no dancers. Then I look up and this girl I had a huge crush on...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
pinkokitty:
like this?
i've always had airedale terriers, like this:
terriers are such good pooches, particularly the large breeds.
i've always had airedale terriers, like this:
terriers are such good pooches, particularly the large breeds.
thejuanupsman:
karaoke is most Monday nights @ the 90s usually around 9-10. hey just letting you know I appreciate your friend request. that being said i am going anon for a while so I will drop off your list. if I could go anon w/o disappearing from friends list I would. just didnt want you to think I changed me mind. hope all goes well. talk to you soon or see you at an event. I will still be checking those. 
[Edited on Oct 15, 2004 12:34AM]
[Edited on Oct 15, 2004 12:34AM]
you may send me to Bali first please thank you
youll learn... it may be slow.. baby steps at first, but cliched as it is i swear time will heal it...
and ill be here for you as much and as well as i can be.
im learning to be your friend... and am honestly grateful for the opportunity. youre a wonderful person, and maybe you see it, maybe you dont...
but fuck. im almost in awe of you.
and pie? fuck yeah!