charitee

tonight i'm not sleeping. tonight i can't breathe.

i watched him for a while, he didn't know i was looking. he sat, deep in thought over numbers and facts, and i found myself wandering why he loves me still.

i'm difficult. cold. jaded. i'm not kind or empathetic. i'm not beautiful in mind or body. but he loves me. is it cruel of me to let him? have i become a person so in need of being loved that i would allow him to love me knowing that he deserves so much more?

we spoke of nothing of importance. work. children. tv. comfortable silence has turned to comfortable deafness. i wonder sometimes if we simply have nothing to say to eachother.

there are times that we talk for hours on end of nothing and everything. and times that we dont speak at all. why do we do that?

i'd have given up ages ago if it weren't for him. my sun rises everyday because he wills it so. obsession.