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So, the steamy sordid details about last night...

Nup. Can't do it. It was too special! I've never connected with another girl on all levels like this before. I'm SO into her! biggrin It's shaken me a little to find out how much physical chemistry we have - her body is SO perfect and she's just so pretty, so soft, so sensual... and at the same...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
missymalice:
sometimes it's appropriate. haha. there's something really satisfying about seeing the mugshot of someone who ripped off one of your friends. smile
tireoghain:
Other than the humidity, I love it up here. There's a weird sense of community that I just never really experienced in Sydney or Melbourne.
I do wanna give Melb a go though, for a week or so. Maybe next year some time.
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9am Thursday morning, hanging onto consciousness by a thread. I have to make an effort to stay awake to go see my shrink today. It's suddenly gone from freezing to boiling and my modest clothes are in the wash so I don't know what I'm going to wear - I could wear a micro skirt but it's super gusty outside so I guess it depends...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
jayenh:
Antidepressants take 1-3 weeks to work their magic usually. Also they have side effects, which vary individually. If you feel funky after starting or changing a med, it's usually best to just roll with it for at least a month. Things like vague stomach cramps, etc., could last quite a bit longer but usually go away. If you encounter a side effect that is actually debilitating (like major nausea, extreme anxiety, et cetera) then you can always try a different med. There are a bunch of options.

Low carb diets are a better way to control appetite than trying to keep your blood sugar/hunger controlled with small carb-containing meals throughout the day. If you are averse to meats you can still use things like oils and vegetable protein and slightly harder to digest carbs like beans. Also, if you are able to walk for a few hours (it has to be more than a couple of hours) once or maybe twice a week, that will burn quite a few calories and really suppress your appetite.

If you appreciated this unsolicited advice you should probably post pictures of your boobies in payment. wink
jayenh:
By the way, caffeine is often a good thing in combination with antidepressants. Perhaps more for the mood elevation (it's an antidepressant all on its own) than energy.
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Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. Your time is limited, so dont waste it living someone else's life. Dont be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other peoples thinking. Dont...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jayenh:
That middle profile picture: Sexy.
draftsman:
I honestly do not know how to best listen to my own heart. I hope you find a way of listening to it and doing what you love. I mean while will continue to try to figure out what to do next.
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jayenh:
It's sad. I used to do sets of straight leg deadlifts with 125+ lbs. Never even remotely had lower back pain before now. As soon as the pain that makes me walking like a broken robot subsides, I guess I better get started on that again.
theaceface:
You wouldn't see this many people get this torn up if, say, the guy who invented the toaster died.
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Ugh. frown

My list of things to do today:

cancel and re-set appointment for bf
clean bathroom
dust house
wash windows
wash clothes
organise cupboard
drop in a resume to the two cafes around the corner
pay credit card and phone bills
buy pasta sauce
practice piano
stretch or run
do nails

What I suspect I will end up doing today:

cancel and re-set appointment for...
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jcliff:
Give the increased dose a little time to reach a therapeutic level. Your blogs convey an amazingly thoughtful and empathetic person's thoughts. Hang in there.
knives2meatyou:
There's nothing on your list that can't wait another day. I realize that telling someone who's feeling depressed that you think they're pretty special does little to give her (as in, you) any energy and really, how much input could someone have who knows you not at all, but sometimes one can glean from what someone says online, when they are often their most candid and vulnerable, that there is a good person in there that struggles at times to recognize how good she is. Maybe another day, another day's opportunity for your medication to work at its new level, a good night's sleep and some major cuddling will get you back on track. As JCliff said, hang in there. Tomorrow will be better, you'll see.
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Well my ankle is all better and I'm ready to run again, but now I have this cold so... whatever

I had the strongest panic attack in bed last night - occasionally I get it into my head that I am on "the last stretch" - that I haven't got long to go in this world. I think I've actually overstayed my visit already - I...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jayenh:
Threesomes aren't usually about love or caring. They're about fun and satisfying needs. Matchmaking for your guy is something different. I've seen one or two people who I think are reasonably sane find thirds for their partners, but I have never felt that it was to find another object of affection as much as it was to satisfy a mutual desire.
erock06:
I agree with Jay.