catthepirate

i am so fucked this term. and i dont really care. i only care about orientation, and inquiry a little bit. more or less i just wanna pass and not be a huge fuckup cuase i think i am a huge fuck up and i'd like to prove myself wrong on this one. I move the day after tomorrow. WOOHOOO
yeah i'm definatly not ready...
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I dont know what is going on lately, i dunno if its the meds or what. but i dont give a fuck about anything lately. not in a destructive way, but i just aspire to some things that arent happening right now and iw ant to make those happen and i want to do what i want to do and educate in my kind of...
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i cant fucking sleep and i have to work at 8am. damn you cruel world. amanda is sleeping over for the second night in a row. yay for slumber parties. i cannot wait until her and i move in together. fun times to come.
i cannot stop thinking about Joe, aka Coast Guard, even though i got way fucked over on our last visit together....
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soooo lazy
have to have my apartment clean by thursday for the stoopid CHNW people to come in and set pest traps in the building. But im also packing. I thought i could pack up all my movies and books into 1 box, but then i forgot i have my own private video store collection so all the dvds took up their own box. Damn...
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i am insane
i really must be

but i do do do adore sex and the city.
I made an appointment to get my sails colored in on my ship for sunday. the guy who did logans tattoo was hot. i made lyle meet my mom and her boyfriend. went over well. it wsa good to see my mom.

iv decided i am not lazy....
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megan and i took salsa lessons tonight and then danced for about ten minutes. it was fun. i need to practice and it will be funner. but i had to be the guy so i only danced with girls tonight which wasnt as fun becuase i was supposed to be the male role so i didnt get to be as sexy, but damnit i tried!

And I forgave her.
Through everything. Forever I blamed her for my craziness. She screamed and cried at me. Her lack of control gave her control over me. Inside my head she created a hole. She filled it with memories, memories that created more holes and voids and crept inside the very nature of my being. Every tear of childhood came from the river flowing...
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And she breathed like an angel
And the rivers swelled
Crossing seas through clouds
And jaded angel
Transparent by lack of
Diluted
She doesn't belong there
Content with what's going on
Won't flap her wings
There are no more miracles
There's no more control
And i forgave her.

i am a crazy crazy psycho and i do not understand why people would want to be friends with me sometimes. emphasis on the sometimes
lately iv been a wreck
a down right wreck
hidden from most people's eyes. anyway
yeah i dont know i have a lot on my mind that i cannot put into words and yesterday was epic.
i like long walks...
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i dont even wanna talk about it