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catiedid

born and raised in the Heartland

Member Since 2003

Followers 0 Following 17

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Saturday Jun 19, 2004

Jun 19, 2004
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Frustrating how my life is an ongoing rollercoaster of emotion. There was a point in my life when I feared contentment. Believing contentment was equal to settling. I may have mentioned something like that on a past journal...anyway, I find myself today, longing for contentment. I hate the decisions that face me on a daily basis. I hate the feeling of unhappiness that is constantly tugging at my soul. There is such beauty and peace around me; I wish I could enjoy it more.

I was on the roof of my house this morning sweeping it off and cleaning out the gutters. When I was done I got my camera and started taking pictures. The patterns of sunlight dancing through the trees onto the roof and ground where like little speckles of laughter. I have so many pictures of my yard and my canopy of trees, but never from my rooftop. It was a new way of looking at the familiar. That was my peace today.

I'm going to miss my trees. And my little house tucked securely within them. This move signifies so many things in my life. So many changes and new experiences I am facing. No matter where I go or what my future holds, I will always miss my trees. I grew into a woman underneath these trees. I lost the innocence and naivety of a sheltered Midwest raised girl, underneath these trees. My heart was broken and I have broken a heart, underneath these trees. They have watched it all and they have brought me comfort and happiness; my piece of the Midwest in "the big city." I will miss them
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
jerry031:
You just said something to make it all better. Congratulations.
Jun 21, 2004
jerry031:
You said this:

"The house is under contract. So, as long as the home inspector doesn't find anything horribly wrong with the house, I close on June 30...a week and a half away"

So congratulations.

And yeah, it's Tuesday.
Jun 21, 2004

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