catculus

I couldn't sleep last night because I couldn't quit thinking of saying things to PCB. I just posted something in their guestbook. *shrug* I guess I really am going to have to just move on...hmm, do I take the set lists off my wall? and the CD jackets? and hide the CDs? And how do I get the music out of my head, the music I love so much?
I hope I get a response. I mean, I know I have done NOTHING to deserve the silent treatment. I was always supportive of them and hell, I was even planning on driving 300 miles to see them. What the hell is their problem? Do they not want people to like them?
In the pictures section on the website there is a picture that has me in it. Underneath it still says "#1 fan Cat..." I'd think it was promising but chances are they just forgot about...
I can't do anything with my site as geocities is being a major fucktard and won't let me sign in and when I finally do sign in it won't let me into file manager. Bastards.
It's hard to believe that they turned out to be such assholes, they seemed like truly nice guys for so long. They were always so welcoming to me but now this! And I have no idea why! I mean, it's like at one moment everybody just decided that Cat! wasn't worth it.
Well, Cat! is worth it.
I just don't understand it at all. I think the hardest part is that I don't know why--it seems like they've done this randomly without a reason.

Anyhow, I need to figure out how to get involved around here. I don't know what there is for me to get involved with in the Shreveport area but hopefully I'll find out soon! I shall go to church on Sunday; I haven't been in a really long time. I should start going to the vocal and instrumental group again as well. And I should start playing viola again...
I need to know how to find gay people who are over 18. I mean, I only know my sister's friends who are like 16. And boys. So that really doesn't help.
I think I shall take Ryan and Dave off my buddy list. It just makes me feel like shit everytime they sign on and ignore me.
Why are nice people always treated like shit? I refuse to not be nice because that's who I am. I mean, if something needs to be said I'll say it but I'm still going to be nice. What's so bad about being nice anyway?
Alright, I'll quit bitching.
I should have a job soon, so, yay? (not looking forward to it except that I need money so I can go to school in the summer... and so I can buy Ani CDs...).